Over-Gifting By Grandparents

[Written By: Dr LeCrone]

Dear Dr. LeCrone:

I am sending you this e-mail in hopes that it will find its way into your newspaper column. The message is intended for grandparents who overindulge their grandchildren with excessive and/or expensive gifts at Christmas.
My wife and I are very concerned that our children will develop a very unhealthy view about the true meaning of the Christmas celebration. We are trying to instill healthy values in our children’s lives and want to establish meaningful traditions with our children that can be passed on to our grandchildren.

With two sets of grandparents, the number and extravagance of the gifts that our children receive from them has become absolutely outrageous. At times we wonder if some kind of competition exists between our parents trying to impress the children. You can almost sense that score keeping of sorts is being kept to determine the winner of the overindulgence.
Christmas dinner was delayed last year in order for the children to have time to complete opening their gifts, and my son even began crying because he wanted to stop and play with some of his new toys only to be told no because he had too many more presents to open. Half of the presents given to the children are played with a few times and then stacked in the closet.

Our attempt to change this pattern has fallen on deaf ears up to this point. One set of grandparents states that they can’t control their spending when if comes to their grandchildren. The other set claims that we are being unreasonable and controlling when it comes to their presents.
My wife and I are tempted to put a stop to this over-gifting by giving our parents a list of acceptable gifts and then telling them that any excesses will be given to charity.
We are going to suggest that they consider giving some non-material gifts such as future invitations to the zoo, movies, museums, sporting events or the circus.

Concentrating on doing things with the children rather than buying things for them would make Christmas much more meaningful to all of us. Please consider sending this message to grandparents everywhere.
-A reader in Pennsylvania

Dear Reader:

I think that you are on the right track. Congratulations and good luck with the grandparents.

Harold H. Lecrone, Jr., Ph.D. Copyright © 2006