Dr. Lecrone
newspaper articles
recommended books
writing & speaking
all about me
email me
Bringing you the psychological resourceshealthy living

Go Back   Hap Lecrone Articles On Psychological Resources | I am an experienced Clinical Practitioner, Administrator, Professional Writer, and Lecturer. I consult to attorneys, business, industry, educational and healthcare facilities and have the ability to work independently or with a team when consulting. > Article Listing > Healthy Behavior

Tools Search This Article
Old 05-30-2012, 03:05 PM
Written By: Dr LeCrone
Default How Much Is Too Much Involvement By A Parent

Dear Dr. LeCrone:

I am a single parent of two boys, ages 5 and 8. They are the love of my life and I don’t know what my life would be without them. There are times, however, that I am afraid that I may be too involved in their lives and, perhaps, overprotective. Can you please give me some insight on my situation? — A reader

Dear Reader:

Parents, in an attempt to make a child feel completely happy and content, often shield him from real world experiences. The parents’ intent is to protect the child from major tragedies, not minor skirmishes that easily can be brushed off.

The challenge lies in the ability to protect from catastrophe while creating independence to cope with adversity, disappointments and challenges.

Here are some thoughts:

* Teach your child that the values, morals and behaviors he sees in the world are not necessarily yours and need not be his. Help him understand that healthy lifestyles are products of good choices and decisions.

Also, make sure you provide healthy parental examples. Critically evaluate your words and actions and be honest with yourself about the “blueprint” that you are creating for your child to follow.

* Let your child know that you decide on acceptable limits and boundaries and that input or pressure from the media, peers, or other families may not be acceptable to you.

Be prepared to handle your child’s inevitable unhappiness with some of your decisions.

* Resist the temptation to try to shield and protect your child from any and all of life’s adversities. Realistically, the world is not a bed of roses and bringing your child up in a “bubble” of artificial security creates false assumptions and perceptions as the child matures.

* Be available for advice but as your child matures, let him explore options and learn to make decisions.

Yes, you have the final say, but try to instill confidence in your child by letting decisions and the consequences of these decisions become his when possible.

* Be aware of tendencies to hover over your child and “overparent” him because of your own insecurity or need for control. Don’t overreact to painful experiences that inevitably occur in life.

A scratched knee is not a catastrophe. A broken toy does not always have to be replaced. A failing grade is not a total disaster. Making mountains out of mole hills can create hypersensitivity to adversity.

Smothering a child with too much oversight and involvement can have a negative outcome.

Harold H. LeCrone, Jr., Ph.D. Copyright © 2012

Tools Search This Article
Search This Article:

Advanced Search

Similar Threads
Article Author Category Replies Recent Article
Improve involvement in child’s education Dr LeCrone Parenting 0 05-29-2006 02:03 PM
Parent seeks advice before child returns home Dr LeCrone Parenting 0 05-29-2006 01:41 PM
Parent can build child’s self-worth Dr LeCrone Parenting 0 05-21-2006 10:24 PM
When teens rebel, what's a parent to do? Dr LeCrone Adolescence 0 03-01-2006 04:49 PM
Teens can avoid early involvement Dr LeCrone Adolescence 0 12-20-2005 11:42 AM

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 11:55 PM.

Powered by vBulletin Version 3.5.3
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.