Dr LeCrone
05-31-2006, 11:18 AM
Many of the individuals that I see professionally come to me as a result of some sort of fear.
Fear of rejection--They believe that asking for what they want or need will lead to a "no" answer and their anxiety about not being able to handle the "no" leads them to reject the risk and not ask.
Fear of disapproval--Performing a certain task, making a speech, writing a story, or volunteering to act in a play might elicit a response too painful to bear. Someone laughing is sure to mean they think I am stupid, someone glancing away is sure to mean they are disinterested and bored, someone clapping probably just means they are being polite.
Fear of change--Having to do something different is bound to be more work. Having to do something different must mean I have to learn something new. Having to do something different means I might fail. Having to do something different means I might be evaluated negatively.
Fear of the future--My past has been so painful and I am so unhappy at present that the future is bound to be even worse. The future is uncharted and without guarantees, so I will try to repeat old behaviors and live in the past when possible. At least I've been there. Future happiness is only for those who are born lucky, which doesn't include me, so the future looks pretty bleak to me.
Fears of relationships - Relationships often lead to the need for trust, and I have never been able to trust anyone. Relationships might lead to love, and no one has ever loved me. Relationships may lead to commitment and I don't like to promise anyone anything.
Fear can be a very emotionally incapacitating and insulating feeling. Someone once wrote that fear is often F-alse E-vidence A-appearing R-eal.
The F-alse E-vidence referred to above is the erroneous and distorted perceptions of the way we think things are because of the belief systems that we have developed from negative, past experiences. A childhood and adolescence filled with unhappy experiences or perhaps simply patterns of communication thrust upon us by uncaring, uneducated or uninsightful caregivers lead to these patterns of thinking and belief systems about ourselves, which are illogical, unreasonable, and unrealistic.
Fortunately, these belief systems can be modified and changed. But this does require time and effort. Changing the way we view the world, especially as it relates to us, can help correct this irrational thinking and lead to a dissipation of fear and uncertainty.
Do you know anyone that fits the patterns outlined above? If so, they may want to change, as life on the other side of fear is much better.
Copyright C 1994 Harold H. LeCrone, Jr., Ph.D.
Fear of rejection--They believe that asking for what they want or need will lead to a "no" answer and their anxiety about not being able to handle the "no" leads them to reject the risk and not ask.
Fear of disapproval--Performing a certain task, making a speech, writing a story, or volunteering to act in a play might elicit a response too painful to bear. Someone laughing is sure to mean they think I am stupid, someone glancing away is sure to mean they are disinterested and bored, someone clapping probably just means they are being polite.
Fear of change--Having to do something different is bound to be more work. Having to do something different must mean I have to learn something new. Having to do something different means I might fail. Having to do something different means I might be evaluated negatively.
Fear of the future--My past has been so painful and I am so unhappy at present that the future is bound to be even worse. The future is uncharted and without guarantees, so I will try to repeat old behaviors and live in the past when possible. At least I've been there. Future happiness is only for those who are born lucky, which doesn't include me, so the future looks pretty bleak to me.
Fears of relationships - Relationships often lead to the need for trust, and I have never been able to trust anyone. Relationships might lead to love, and no one has ever loved me. Relationships may lead to commitment and I don't like to promise anyone anything.
Fear can be a very emotionally incapacitating and insulating feeling. Someone once wrote that fear is often F-alse E-vidence A-appearing R-eal.
The F-alse E-vidence referred to above is the erroneous and distorted perceptions of the way we think things are because of the belief systems that we have developed from negative, past experiences. A childhood and adolescence filled with unhappy experiences or perhaps simply patterns of communication thrust upon us by uncaring, uneducated or uninsightful caregivers lead to these patterns of thinking and belief systems about ourselves, which are illogical, unreasonable, and unrealistic.
Fortunately, these belief systems can be modified and changed. But this does require time and effort. Changing the way we view the world, especially as it relates to us, can help correct this irrational thinking and lead to a dissipation of fear and uncertainty.
Do you know anyone that fits the patterns outlined above? If so, they may want to change, as life on the other side of fear is much better.
Copyright C 1994 Harold H. LeCrone, Jr., Ph.D.