Dr LeCrone
05-31-2006, 11:17 AM
The situation seems to be one where you can't win. Maybe it's your job and you can't quit because it's your livelihood. Maybe it's your neighbor who has caused you so much distress you are miserable living side by side. You can't and you don't want to move. Maybe it's an accumulation of daily stresses that have piled up so high you can't handle them anymore. Just nagging little things. Maybe it's a family problem. But whatever the situation, all you want is peace of mind. And time to wait it out while you straighten it out.
With your mind and body out of balance, you need to sort things out, make a plan, tackle what you can, and let some things go. Here are some guidelines which may help you.
• Find someone to listen. A trusted friend, a non-judgmental partner, a member of the clergy or a professional counselor. The first step is to talk it over with someone who can help you achieve a clearer perspective about your needs.
• Realize that you can't control the actions of anyone else, nor do you have the option to change some situations. You are going to have to accept what you can't change. As you review all the facts, try to see the other side of the problem.
• Be willing to compromise. If there is a dispute with another party, try to reach an agreement. Give a little. Make it a win-win situation for both of you. If the situation seems impassable, remember that even a little bit of give and take often eases the difficulty.
• Tackle one thing at a time. If stressors have stacked up, unstack them by alleviating them point by point. If lists are helpful for you, write the irritants down. Strike them out as you make a decision about how to cope with them.
• If your colleague at work gossips and criticizes more than you can take, take a coffee break when he or she starts. Or simply say a little gossip is interesting conversation, too much is hazardous to my mental health. If your boss does not recognize your contributions or does not seem to appreciate your worth, discuss the possibility of transferring to another department, or asking for training which might make you eligible for other duties.
• If resentment or anger has developed, do something physical. Walk, run, jog, play a game of tennis or golf to relieve tension. Use your lunch break to exercise or start the day with a brisk walk in your neighborhood.
• Do something unexpected for someone else. If you have been harboring ill feelings toward someone, surprise them with a compliment, or show them that you are interested in them. Visit a shut-in, prepare a casserole for someone who has just returned from the hospital, or collect clothing for the homeless. The good feelings you will have about a charitable act helps in overcoming chronic worry, self-pity and depression.
• Walk away from the situation for a while. Schedule some time for yourself. Plan a distraction, do whatever you can to give yourself a healthy dose of fun and pleasure. Develop a new hobby. Check to see if you are in a rut and if so plan to make changes.
• Working toward good mental health means taking good care of yourself and keeps the mind open to viewing life in a different way.
Copyright c 1993 Harold H. LeCrone, Jr., Ph.D.
With your mind and body out of balance, you need to sort things out, make a plan, tackle what you can, and let some things go. Here are some guidelines which may help you.
• Find someone to listen. A trusted friend, a non-judgmental partner, a member of the clergy or a professional counselor. The first step is to talk it over with someone who can help you achieve a clearer perspective about your needs.
• Realize that you can't control the actions of anyone else, nor do you have the option to change some situations. You are going to have to accept what you can't change. As you review all the facts, try to see the other side of the problem.
• Be willing to compromise. If there is a dispute with another party, try to reach an agreement. Give a little. Make it a win-win situation for both of you. If the situation seems impassable, remember that even a little bit of give and take often eases the difficulty.
• Tackle one thing at a time. If stressors have stacked up, unstack them by alleviating them point by point. If lists are helpful for you, write the irritants down. Strike them out as you make a decision about how to cope with them.
• If your colleague at work gossips and criticizes more than you can take, take a coffee break when he or she starts. Or simply say a little gossip is interesting conversation, too much is hazardous to my mental health. If your boss does not recognize your contributions or does not seem to appreciate your worth, discuss the possibility of transferring to another department, or asking for training which might make you eligible for other duties.
• If resentment or anger has developed, do something physical. Walk, run, jog, play a game of tennis or golf to relieve tension. Use your lunch break to exercise or start the day with a brisk walk in your neighborhood.
• Do something unexpected for someone else. If you have been harboring ill feelings toward someone, surprise them with a compliment, or show them that you are interested in them. Visit a shut-in, prepare a casserole for someone who has just returned from the hospital, or collect clothing for the homeless. The good feelings you will have about a charitable act helps in overcoming chronic worry, self-pity and depression.
• Walk away from the situation for a while. Schedule some time for yourself. Plan a distraction, do whatever you can to give yourself a healthy dose of fun and pleasure. Develop a new hobby. Check to see if you are in a rut and if so plan to make changes.
• Working toward good mental health means taking good care of yourself and keeps the mind open to viewing life in a different way.
Copyright c 1993 Harold H. LeCrone, Jr., Ph.D.