Dr LeCrone
05-31-2006, 12:14 PM
Consider the following four choices:
• Doing something and enjoying it.
• Doing something and not enjoying it.
• Not doing something and enjoying not doing it.
• Not doing something and not enjoying not doing it.
You may find yourself needing to read this a couple of times in order to let the full meaning soak in. But if you do, you will recognize these four situations as ones that we all encounter almost every day in our lives.
The problem arises when individuals become "stuck" or immersed in a couple of these two choices. Unfortunately, many individuals actually develop a way of looking at life that seems to include the probability that they will look at things and make choices in the two situations lacking in joy and fulfillment.
Fortunately, people can change their outlook if they see that they have a problem (insight) and desire to change (motivation).
In counseling individuals over the years I have often found it helpful to request that they look at the elements of their lives in terms of the four situations above. Human beings often or continually repeat certain types of thinking and behavior because they are simply not encouraged to consider the fact that they have choices in life. As a matter of fact, many individuals develop a sense of helplessness and hopelessness because they have developed the belief that choices are unavailable for them.
Whole schools of counseling in psychotherapy are built around training or retraining individuals to begin seeing life in terms of choices instead of the previous rutted, tunnel vision perceptions which previously guided them.
Most behavior involves choice and if fact, most times we execute choices in order to obtain desired outcomes. Very few instances in life occur because one must either instinctively follow the leader or follow the leader through blind obedience.
Certainly, there are compromises. Knowing that we dislike the ballet, we choose to attend the performances with our spouse or friend not because we must do it, but because we want to please them. It was our choice. At the same time, we may choose not to attend that ballet because we know we would be miserable and would affect their enjoyment of the evening.
Like any new or rusty skill, seeing life in terms of choice, takes some time and practice. New skills are not learned over night. Finding people and or situations in the environment which signal to the individual that the more appropriate and rewarding choices are being made helps increase the likelihood that the individual learns to reflexively repeat these new skills more often than in the past.
Choices, thank heavens for options in life. Do you see yours or should you expand your vision?
Copyright c 1993 Harold H. LeCrone, Jr., Ph.D.
• Doing something and enjoying it.
• Doing something and not enjoying it.
• Not doing something and enjoying not doing it.
• Not doing something and not enjoying not doing it.
You may find yourself needing to read this a couple of times in order to let the full meaning soak in. But if you do, you will recognize these four situations as ones that we all encounter almost every day in our lives.
The problem arises when individuals become "stuck" or immersed in a couple of these two choices. Unfortunately, many individuals actually develop a way of looking at life that seems to include the probability that they will look at things and make choices in the two situations lacking in joy and fulfillment.
Fortunately, people can change their outlook if they see that they have a problem (insight) and desire to change (motivation).
In counseling individuals over the years I have often found it helpful to request that they look at the elements of their lives in terms of the four situations above. Human beings often or continually repeat certain types of thinking and behavior because they are simply not encouraged to consider the fact that they have choices in life. As a matter of fact, many individuals develop a sense of helplessness and hopelessness because they have developed the belief that choices are unavailable for them.
Whole schools of counseling in psychotherapy are built around training or retraining individuals to begin seeing life in terms of choices instead of the previous rutted, tunnel vision perceptions which previously guided them.
Most behavior involves choice and if fact, most times we execute choices in order to obtain desired outcomes. Very few instances in life occur because one must either instinctively follow the leader or follow the leader through blind obedience.
Certainly, there are compromises. Knowing that we dislike the ballet, we choose to attend the performances with our spouse or friend not because we must do it, but because we want to please them. It was our choice. At the same time, we may choose not to attend that ballet because we know we would be miserable and would affect their enjoyment of the evening.
Like any new or rusty skill, seeing life in terms of choice, takes some time and practice. New skills are not learned over night. Finding people and or situations in the environment which signal to the individual that the more appropriate and rewarding choices are being made helps increase the likelihood that the individual learns to reflexively repeat these new skills more often than in the past.
Choices, thank heavens for options in life. Do you see yours or should you expand your vision?
Copyright c 1993 Harold H. LeCrone, Jr., Ph.D.