Dr LeCrone
05-31-2006, 12:10 PM
Individuals who chronically experience emotional lows frequently suffer from low self-esteem. Living in an insecure shell, they are hypersensitive to criticism, have very low tolerance for imperfection, and an insatiable need for approval.
When anyone--their boss or their friend--seems mildly annoyed or even preoccupied, they search for the word they said or the act they did which was the cause. Pessimism and negative thinking pervade, dominate, and define their outlook on life.
While a person with a healthy self-concept accepts the fact that all efforts will not produce perfection, the person with a poor self-concept bemoans the fact that he or she is simply inadequate and that the less than perfect results are totally their fault.
Two dysfunctional patterns of need are often held by these individuals, setting the guidelines that determine why they choose to do certain things and not others.
• The basic need for recognition and approval, when chronically perceived as being unmet, dictates the motivational systems upon which many individuals base their lives. It is true that everyone wants and needs some recognition and approval in life. If this need becomes the dominant force, then a person may become unbalanced. Examples of this are entertainers, politicians, professionals who consciously or unconsciously choose their careers to achieve focused attention from broad groups of people as a result of what they say and do. Individuals in these careers who suffer from ego deficiencies may be searching for a place in the lime light and the hope that others will place them on a pedestal. Often power and control are intertwined in the needs of these individuals.
• Another example of having one's behavior motivated by a need takes place when an individual strives for material wealth as a means of attempting to display success through the display of material possessions. This driving force is different from the individual who strives for wealth or enjoyment for himself or his family, or to make their lives safer, more efficient or simply more pleasant.
Looking back on the childhood and adolescent years of these individuals, one often finds a very dysfunctional pattern of communication and relationship during these formative years. In order to elicit loving responses from their care givers, they knew their behavior had to meet with often unattainable approval.
The message they received was that in order to be loved they had to act in certain ways, the "right" way. If their approval did not meet the caregiver's needs, then they felt unloved and even unwanted. Receiving recognition, approval and love from parents and other significant persons is as important to one's psychological well-being as blood plasma is to one's physical well-being.
Parents and care givers should keep these factors in mind when rearing their children. Unfortunately, the negative cycle often repeats itself and the problems are passed on to the next generation.
Altering this pattern of neurotic need for recognition and approval is possible in adulthood, but it often required professional help. The best plan is to meet these needs during the formative years. Healthy relationship and sound psychological patterns of communication in childhood and in adolescence can provide the basis for healthier egos later in life.
During subsequent articles I will discuss other unmet needs of individuals which alter self-concepts.
Copyright c 1992 Harold H. LeCrone, Jr., Ph.D.
When anyone--their boss or their friend--seems mildly annoyed or even preoccupied, they search for the word they said or the act they did which was the cause. Pessimism and negative thinking pervade, dominate, and define their outlook on life.
While a person with a healthy self-concept accepts the fact that all efforts will not produce perfection, the person with a poor self-concept bemoans the fact that he or she is simply inadequate and that the less than perfect results are totally their fault.
Two dysfunctional patterns of need are often held by these individuals, setting the guidelines that determine why they choose to do certain things and not others.
• The basic need for recognition and approval, when chronically perceived as being unmet, dictates the motivational systems upon which many individuals base their lives. It is true that everyone wants and needs some recognition and approval in life. If this need becomes the dominant force, then a person may become unbalanced. Examples of this are entertainers, politicians, professionals who consciously or unconsciously choose their careers to achieve focused attention from broad groups of people as a result of what they say and do. Individuals in these careers who suffer from ego deficiencies may be searching for a place in the lime light and the hope that others will place them on a pedestal. Often power and control are intertwined in the needs of these individuals.
• Another example of having one's behavior motivated by a need takes place when an individual strives for material wealth as a means of attempting to display success through the display of material possessions. This driving force is different from the individual who strives for wealth or enjoyment for himself or his family, or to make their lives safer, more efficient or simply more pleasant.
Looking back on the childhood and adolescent years of these individuals, one often finds a very dysfunctional pattern of communication and relationship during these formative years. In order to elicit loving responses from their care givers, they knew their behavior had to meet with often unattainable approval.
The message they received was that in order to be loved they had to act in certain ways, the "right" way. If their approval did not meet the caregiver's needs, then they felt unloved and even unwanted. Receiving recognition, approval and love from parents and other significant persons is as important to one's psychological well-being as blood plasma is to one's physical well-being.
Parents and care givers should keep these factors in mind when rearing their children. Unfortunately, the negative cycle often repeats itself and the problems are passed on to the next generation.
Altering this pattern of neurotic need for recognition and approval is possible in adulthood, but it often required professional help. The best plan is to meet these needs during the formative years. Healthy relationship and sound psychological patterns of communication in childhood and in adolescence can provide the basis for healthier egos later in life.
During subsequent articles I will discuss other unmet needs of individuals which alter self-concepts.
Copyright c 1992 Harold H. LeCrone, Jr., Ph.D.