Dr LeCrone
05-21-2006, 10:23 PM
There is an old saying that goes, “If you treat an individual as he is, he will stay as he is. But if you treat him as if he were what he ought to be and could be, he will become what he ought to be and could be.” The original author of this statement escapes me, but I feel strongly about the truth and wisdom of these words.
Helping shape our children’s self-esteem takes commitment and knowledge of effective parenting techniques. Because I find that many parents are either unaware of this need or are unwilling to take the time to help their child develop positive self-esteem, I would like to present some information that should help.
First, parents need to have a clear understanding of what self-esteem is. Recently I heard it defined in this manner:
Self-esteem is the process of setting a value on yourself, appreciating your worth, knowing you are a valued person, having a quiet sense of self-respect.
Other definitions are:
Self-esteem is the way we think and feel about ourselves.
The sum total of the view that we as individuals have about ourselves – that unique set of perceptions, ideas that we hold to be true about ourselves.
Then we need to be aware of varying degrees of self-esteem and the characteristics of each:
Individuals with high self-esteem:
Are able to appreciate and respect the worth of others.
Are confident of their own competence.
Believe they matter to others.
Have fewer illnesses and worries.
Are generally happier and more successful.
Are able to deal with crises.
Are able to make better and more responsible decision.
People with low self-esteem, on the other hand, have the following characteristics. They:
Avoid doing things for themselves.
Have difficulty accepting compliments.
Have difficulty accepting responsibility for their actions.
Tend to have accepted labels like dumb, stupid, ugly, etc.
Feel distant from those around them.
Set themselves up for failure. They expect to be cheated.
Need almost constant verification and validation from others.
Finally, people who have an exaggerated sense of self-esteem:
Have an inflated ego, can do no wrong.
Usually talk about themselves and their accomplishments a lot.
Usually are masking feelings of inferiority or need for approval.
Next week I will discuss a model of self-esteem in children that considers security, significance and confidence as the three major variables.
Harold H. LeCrone, Jr., Ph.D. Copyright 1989
Helping shape our children’s self-esteem takes commitment and knowledge of effective parenting techniques. Because I find that many parents are either unaware of this need or are unwilling to take the time to help their child develop positive self-esteem, I would like to present some information that should help.
First, parents need to have a clear understanding of what self-esteem is. Recently I heard it defined in this manner:
Self-esteem is the process of setting a value on yourself, appreciating your worth, knowing you are a valued person, having a quiet sense of self-respect.
Other definitions are:
Self-esteem is the way we think and feel about ourselves.
The sum total of the view that we as individuals have about ourselves – that unique set of perceptions, ideas that we hold to be true about ourselves.
Then we need to be aware of varying degrees of self-esteem and the characteristics of each:
Individuals with high self-esteem:
Are able to appreciate and respect the worth of others.
Are confident of their own competence.
Believe they matter to others.
Have fewer illnesses and worries.
Are generally happier and more successful.
Are able to deal with crises.
Are able to make better and more responsible decision.
People with low self-esteem, on the other hand, have the following characteristics. They:
Avoid doing things for themselves.
Have difficulty accepting compliments.
Have difficulty accepting responsibility for their actions.
Tend to have accepted labels like dumb, stupid, ugly, etc.
Feel distant from those around them.
Set themselves up for failure. They expect to be cheated.
Need almost constant verification and validation from others.
Finally, people who have an exaggerated sense of self-esteem:
Have an inflated ego, can do no wrong.
Usually talk about themselves and their accomplishments a lot.
Usually are masking feelings of inferiority or need for approval.
Next week I will discuss a model of self-esteem in children that considers security, significance and confidence as the three major variables.
Harold H. LeCrone, Jr., Ph.D. Copyright 1989