Dr LeCrone
05-21-2006, 10:20 PM
Behavioral science research seems to offer good news for single and poor parents. Whether a child is rich or poor, comes from an intact or broken home, grows up in a safe or trouble neighborhood doesn’t seem to make too much difference in determining his emotional adjustment if the parent is warm, supportive and consistent an the parents work hard at reducing conflict between themselves.
A group of youngsters aged 11 to 12 provided information about what affects them most. It isn’t their race or ethnic background, the life status of their families or even their school that affects their social and emotional makeup. The pre-adolescents said daily hassles were the factors that caused depression.
Daily hassles were defined as:
Losing a loved pet.
Not being picked for the team.
Not having mother or father around when needed.
Not having “uplifts” during the day.
Uplifts were what they cited as the reasons for keeping depression and poor self-esteem at a minimum.
To them, uplifts meant:
Mother or father spending time with them at the end of the day.
A parent taking them shopping for a small gift.
Recognition of their tasks or accomplishments.
Single-parent or economically stressed families need not provide material objects beyond their means. Children remember “quality time” and little favors. They say the greatest toll from stress comes from daily annoyances rather than from traumas.
What makes this so encouraging is the fact that every parent can do something about the adverse effects of small hassles. You may not be able to control the hassles, but you can supply plenty of uplifts.
Other information gleaned from the study of the youngsters shows that both teachers and classmates are good at identifying children who are strong or weak in self-restraint. If the child is disruptive, teachers will understand that he is distressed. But if he is not acting his distress out, they have difficult finding the level of his self-esteem. In fact, the study shows that many could not tell the difference between a happy and an unhappy child.
There is a well-defined need for better understanding of child development. Parenting classes or courses taught in schools could pave the way for being better parents. The study cited a need for continuing teamwork between parents, teachers and social workers.
Another piece of good news from this study is that all children are not equally easy to bring up. If a child comes into this world with a temperamental style that is more difficult than other children (for example, being more rambunctious, more active, harder to please), then that simply means that the child is probably going to more difficult to parent – through no fault of the parent.
However, raising well-adjusted individuals is still an important task for our society, one that would be more manageable if society provided more supports for parents and teachers in general and for the parents of difficult children in particular.
Harold H. LeCrone, Jr., Ph.D. Copyright 1988
A group of youngsters aged 11 to 12 provided information about what affects them most. It isn’t their race or ethnic background, the life status of their families or even their school that affects their social and emotional makeup. The pre-adolescents said daily hassles were the factors that caused depression.
Daily hassles were defined as:
Losing a loved pet.
Not being picked for the team.
Not having mother or father around when needed.
Not having “uplifts” during the day.
Uplifts were what they cited as the reasons for keeping depression and poor self-esteem at a minimum.
To them, uplifts meant:
Mother or father spending time with them at the end of the day.
A parent taking them shopping for a small gift.
Recognition of their tasks or accomplishments.
Single-parent or economically stressed families need not provide material objects beyond their means. Children remember “quality time” and little favors. They say the greatest toll from stress comes from daily annoyances rather than from traumas.
What makes this so encouraging is the fact that every parent can do something about the adverse effects of small hassles. You may not be able to control the hassles, but you can supply plenty of uplifts.
Other information gleaned from the study of the youngsters shows that both teachers and classmates are good at identifying children who are strong or weak in self-restraint. If the child is disruptive, teachers will understand that he is distressed. But if he is not acting his distress out, they have difficult finding the level of his self-esteem. In fact, the study shows that many could not tell the difference between a happy and an unhappy child.
There is a well-defined need for better understanding of child development. Parenting classes or courses taught in schools could pave the way for being better parents. The study cited a need for continuing teamwork between parents, teachers and social workers.
Another piece of good news from this study is that all children are not equally easy to bring up. If a child comes into this world with a temperamental style that is more difficult than other children (for example, being more rambunctious, more active, harder to please), then that simply means that the child is probably going to more difficult to parent – through no fault of the parent.
However, raising well-adjusted individuals is still an important task for our society, one that would be more manageable if society provided more supports for parents and teachers in general and for the parents of difficult children in particular.
Harold H. LeCrone, Jr., Ph.D. Copyright 1988