Dr LeCrone
05-21-2006, 10:09 PM
America’s 64 million children are our most precious future investment. Society applauds parents who are concerned with providing adequate housing, medical care and education for their children. It assists parents in providing appropriate checkpoints to see that each child is physically well and educationally equipped.
But parents often fail to provide emotional and developmental checkups. Parents sometimes do not prepare their children for traumas that may affect their emotional well-being.
• Witness a child crying on the first day of school. Separation anxiety has surfaced. It helps to take the child to see the school ahead of time and to encourage “playing school” at home. A child who has had some experience of separation will adjust more easily.
If a child has been to Sunday school, vacation Bible school or day care, the parent can compare the experience of short separation when the full-day school begins.
• Even more traumatic is an impending change of school, and if the change means a move to another city, it means a sad parting from friends and relatives.
Corporation relocation counselors have found that parents are so caught up in planning the move that they fail to notice the child’s behavior. Or parents assume that because the child doesn’t talk about it, it is going to be all right.
But children need to voice their anxieties, to express their fears about losing friends and being the new kid on the block.
To make the transition smoother, write a letter to the school counselor requesting a photo of the school and the teacher or ask the Chamber of Commerce for brochures about community recreation and other resources.
• A first visit to the dentist can be scary for small children. But a fun visit with a friend who has already been to the dentist can break the ice. An exciting ride in the doctor’s chair and briefing about brushing and fluoride helps take some of the trauma away.
• When children face a hospital stay, an advance visit to the hospital and a meeting with the nurses allay some fears. When mother and child play doctor and hospital at home, the simulated visit makes the real trip less frightening.
• One of the most traumatic events in a child’s life is the breakup of the parents’ marriage. Here again, advance preparation can make a great deal of difference.
Since a child knows when things have not gone well, it is futile to try and hide the trouble. Have both parents convey to the child that he is not responsible for the divorce and that they both will continue to love and care for him.
If needed, school counselors and family service agencies provide support groups for children of divorced parents.
• Preparing children for the loss of a loved one is difficult. Perhaps the first experience a child may have is the loss of a family pet. But conversations about deaths of neighbors, acquaintances and relatives should begin at an early age.
Based on the family’s religious beliefs and church affiliation, the parents can tell the child that dying is a part of life and that the grieving process takes time because we are sad to be parted with out loved ones. Then they can emphasize happy and good memories and point out the optimism of life going on.
By preparing for events that affect the psychological development of a child, parents may forestall a crisis. The best preparation and plans are often inadequate, however, and should a crisis occur and you need help, consult a mental health professional.
Remember that periodic psychological checkups also give every child the opportunity to grow up sound in body and mind.
Harold H. LeCrone, Jr., Ph.D. Copyright 1987
But parents often fail to provide emotional and developmental checkups. Parents sometimes do not prepare their children for traumas that may affect their emotional well-being.
• Witness a child crying on the first day of school. Separation anxiety has surfaced. It helps to take the child to see the school ahead of time and to encourage “playing school” at home. A child who has had some experience of separation will adjust more easily.
If a child has been to Sunday school, vacation Bible school or day care, the parent can compare the experience of short separation when the full-day school begins.
• Even more traumatic is an impending change of school, and if the change means a move to another city, it means a sad parting from friends and relatives.
Corporation relocation counselors have found that parents are so caught up in planning the move that they fail to notice the child’s behavior. Or parents assume that because the child doesn’t talk about it, it is going to be all right.
But children need to voice their anxieties, to express their fears about losing friends and being the new kid on the block.
To make the transition smoother, write a letter to the school counselor requesting a photo of the school and the teacher or ask the Chamber of Commerce for brochures about community recreation and other resources.
• A first visit to the dentist can be scary for small children. But a fun visit with a friend who has already been to the dentist can break the ice. An exciting ride in the doctor’s chair and briefing about brushing and fluoride helps take some of the trauma away.
• When children face a hospital stay, an advance visit to the hospital and a meeting with the nurses allay some fears. When mother and child play doctor and hospital at home, the simulated visit makes the real trip less frightening.
• One of the most traumatic events in a child’s life is the breakup of the parents’ marriage. Here again, advance preparation can make a great deal of difference.
Since a child knows when things have not gone well, it is futile to try and hide the trouble. Have both parents convey to the child that he is not responsible for the divorce and that they both will continue to love and care for him.
If needed, school counselors and family service agencies provide support groups for children of divorced parents.
• Preparing children for the loss of a loved one is difficult. Perhaps the first experience a child may have is the loss of a family pet. But conversations about deaths of neighbors, acquaintances and relatives should begin at an early age.
Based on the family’s religious beliefs and church affiliation, the parents can tell the child that dying is a part of life and that the grieving process takes time because we are sad to be parted with out loved ones. Then they can emphasize happy and good memories and point out the optimism of life going on.
By preparing for events that affect the psychological development of a child, parents may forestall a crisis. The best preparation and plans are often inadequate, however, and should a crisis occur and you need help, consult a mental health professional.
Remember that periodic psychological checkups also give every child the opportunity to grow up sound in body and mind.
Harold H. LeCrone, Jr., Ph.D. Copyright 1987