Dr LeCrone
05-21-2006, 10:06 PM
Meeting the physical and emotional needs of our children when parents work outside the home is often difficult, but it is important.
Learning to provide children with the security they need and keeping them from feeling less important than our work can be achieved with careful planning.
• First consider the child’s point of view – how they accept the working parent and what is important to them.
The idea of one or both parents working outside the home is not new or unique to children. Estimates are that in more than half of all families, the single parent or both parents work outside the home.
For the most part, children accept this. Having parents and lifestyles similar to their peers is important. No child wants to stand out in the crowd as being the “oddball.”
• Although many children accept their working parents, they still want their needs met. They are aware that some parents successfully balance the responsibilities of home and career by careful use of time.
• Children don’t’ want to be excluded from discussions about their parents’ work. They want to hear about their parents’ duties and responsibilities.
What is the parents’ weekly schedule going to be? Why must parents devote extra time to their job? What is frustrating about the job? What do they think about their boss? Why? What does their boss think about them? Why?
Children want to know what parents like about the job and what they dislike. The byproduct of these parent-child conversations can be the beginning of idea formation in career choices. It can lead to early steps down a path eventually guiding the child into the work force.
• Most children, especially by the time they reach early adolescence, realize the difference between hard-working parents who feel a commitment toward their vocation and workaholics.
Children resent this exclusion from their parents’ lives and expect parents to sometimes reschedule and change priorities for them. Children need time for special family rituals and observances. They need time for parents to listen while they discuss their hopes and dreams.
Over the years I have heard many parents say they woke up one day to realize the children were almost grown. Sadly, they lamented that they hardly knew their children.
• To keep emotional stability in the household, parents should make every effort to come home and begin family interaction on a happy or positive note at the end of the day.
Hitting the front door with constant complaints of how terrible the day was and how unfair life is creates an air of pessimism in the child and can lead to negative stereotypes thinking.
Parents should find something positive to talk about during the first few minutes at home. Discussions o problems or unpleasant situations can come later.
Next week, I will discuss ways parents can organize and provide security and emotional wellbeing within the home.
Harold H. LeCrone, Jr., Ph.D. Copyright 1986
Learning to provide children with the security they need and keeping them from feeling less important than our work can be achieved with careful planning.
• First consider the child’s point of view – how they accept the working parent and what is important to them.
The idea of one or both parents working outside the home is not new or unique to children. Estimates are that in more than half of all families, the single parent or both parents work outside the home.
For the most part, children accept this. Having parents and lifestyles similar to their peers is important. No child wants to stand out in the crowd as being the “oddball.”
• Although many children accept their working parents, they still want their needs met. They are aware that some parents successfully balance the responsibilities of home and career by careful use of time.
• Children don’t’ want to be excluded from discussions about their parents’ work. They want to hear about their parents’ duties and responsibilities.
What is the parents’ weekly schedule going to be? Why must parents devote extra time to their job? What is frustrating about the job? What do they think about their boss? Why? What does their boss think about them? Why?
Children want to know what parents like about the job and what they dislike. The byproduct of these parent-child conversations can be the beginning of idea formation in career choices. It can lead to early steps down a path eventually guiding the child into the work force.
• Most children, especially by the time they reach early adolescence, realize the difference between hard-working parents who feel a commitment toward their vocation and workaholics.
Children resent this exclusion from their parents’ lives and expect parents to sometimes reschedule and change priorities for them. Children need time for special family rituals and observances. They need time for parents to listen while they discuss their hopes and dreams.
Over the years I have heard many parents say they woke up one day to realize the children were almost grown. Sadly, they lamented that they hardly knew their children.
• To keep emotional stability in the household, parents should make every effort to come home and begin family interaction on a happy or positive note at the end of the day.
Hitting the front door with constant complaints of how terrible the day was and how unfair life is creates an air of pessimism in the child and can lead to negative stereotypes thinking.
Parents should find something positive to talk about during the first few minutes at home. Discussions o problems or unpleasant situations can come later.
Next week, I will discuss ways parents can organize and provide security and emotional wellbeing within the home.
Harold H. LeCrone, Jr., Ph.D. Copyright 1986