Dr LeCrone
05-21-2006, 10:04 PM
Rearing children in a happy, healthy home requires a great deal of time, energy, and yes, as most of us will admit, a great deal of money.
The commitments necessary to provide the nurturing atmosphere and the kind of psychological climate that really promotes healthy self-esteem in children is a constant, unrelenting and often stressful job.
But I believe there are guidelines that can make the job easier and more enjoyable:
• Parents should recognize and understand the “normal” development stages of growth. Especially important is the period of adolescence when rebelliousness, negativism and separations become frustrating for parents.
Although these are normal parts of the adolescent period, some parents react by becoming tense, rigid and unyielding. Naturally, this makes the problem worse.
Two main ingredients are needed to get through this transition period: understanding the strong need for peer association and acceptance while maintaining the love and support of the adolescent. There are many books available at the public library on the stages of human growth and development.
• Families should avoid over commitment. Our ability to maintain an effective balance in various available activities of family members will aid in survival and the preservation of our sanity.
When children or their parents are involved in too many groups and organizations, the family seems to be running around helter-skelter. These excessive demands can cause chaos. Setting priorities and limits is important in reducing stress.
If you have noticed an increase of physical illness or psychological problems, if you have felt your circuits overloading, or if communication patterns between family members have broken down, then you might look at this dimension of commitment to outside family activities.
• Parents should set limits that are clear-cut and free from ambiguity. At the same time, some allowances should be made for special occasions or unusual circumstances. Have set hours for teen-agers to return home. Have limitations on how much time can be spent on the phone. Sit down as a family group and discuss these areas so the adolescent has some input on how final decisions are made.
• Parents must be in agreement with each other and stick together on the agreed upon rules and guidelines of the family.
• Set aside a time for effective communication. Many families with healthy communication patterns believe this is a key element and set aside a time each week to talk over important issues and face decision. I don’t believe this should be a part of mealtime, since meals should be reserved for pleasant conversation only.
• Help the homemaker divide the labor and routine tasks with predictability. If one person helps with meal preparation, then another can help with cleanup.
Harold H. LeCrone, Jr., Ph.D. Copyright 1986
The commitments necessary to provide the nurturing atmosphere and the kind of psychological climate that really promotes healthy self-esteem in children is a constant, unrelenting and often stressful job.
But I believe there are guidelines that can make the job easier and more enjoyable:
• Parents should recognize and understand the “normal” development stages of growth. Especially important is the period of adolescence when rebelliousness, negativism and separations become frustrating for parents.
Although these are normal parts of the adolescent period, some parents react by becoming tense, rigid and unyielding. Naturally, this makes the problem worse.
Two main ingredients are needed to get through this transition period: understanding the strong need for peer association and acceptance while maintaining the love and support of the adolescent. There are many books available at the public library on the stages of human growth and development.
• Families should avoid over commitment. Our ability to maintain an effective balance in various available activities of family members will aid in survival and the preservation of our sanity.
When children or their parents are involved in too many groups and organizations, the family seems to be running around helter-skelter. These excessive demands can cause chaos. Setting priorities and limits is important in reducing stress.
If you have noticed an increase of physical illness or psychological problems, if you have felt your circuits overloading, or if communication patterns between family members have broken down, then you might look at this dimension of commitment to outside family activities.
• Parents should set limits that are clear-cut and free from ambiguity. At the same time, some allowances should be made for special occasions or unusual circumstances. Have set hours for teen-agers to return home. Have limitations on how much time can be spent on the phone. Sit down as a family group and discuss these areas so the adolescent has some input on how final decisions are made.
• Parents must be in agreement with each other and stick together on the agreed upon rules and guidelines of the family.
• Set aside a time for effective communication. Many families with healthy communication patterns believe this is a key element and set aside a time each week to talk over important issues and face decision. I don’t believe this should be a part of mealtime, since meals should be reserved for pleasant conversation only.
• Help the homemaker divide the labor and routine tasks with predictability. If one person helps with meal preparation, then another can help with cleanup.
Harold H. LeCrone, Jr., Ph.D. Copyright 1986