Dr LeCrone
05-21-2006, 10:03 PM
For many years I have advocated, somewhat to the chagrin of my male friends, that periodically all fathers should take care of the children and let mom get away from the house for a few days.
In my opinion, this serves several purposes.
• Many fathers who do not spend much time with their children can have an opportunity for some real “intense” interaction. These fathers can, in a few days, “get to know their kids.”
This especially holds true for those dads who are tied up at work most of the time and who see their kids only an hour or so per day. In other words, they don’t every really experience the daily trials and tribulations that mom does.
• Many fathers can gain an appreciation of car pools, dirty laundry, lunch bags and meal preparation.
• Moms can get away and reflect a little bit on how they want to improve their lives and become better wives and mothers. Yes, the exchange makes mom appreciate the value of home and family, believe it or not.
Being an advocate of this position, I found that it was certainly a necessity for me to practice what I preached; therefore, for two or three times each year I have kept the kids for a short period of time while my wife is away.
My most recent experience, however, added some startling new information. It provided me with the belief that all fathers who follow my advice should have a backup support system available in the event that their “grip” on the situation becomes too loose.
The particular vacation days to which I refer began one fall weekend when my wife had returned to her hometown for a family visit and for her class reunion. Since I had been through the routine numerous times, I slipped into the role of “mom and dad” with ease. I mentally clicked off what experience had taught me.
• I knew it was necessary to get up a little earlier in order to cope with the double duty.
• I knew that all things had to proceed on schedule so that there would be no conflict of issues.
• I kept track of school activities, parent meetings, athletic events, birthday parties, car pools, doctor appointments, etc.
• I knew I would have no trouble falling asleep.
I thought I had the situation well in hand. Mindful that we usually associate stress in our own life with our profession and see home as a refuge and place of peace and happiness, I wasn’t prepared for unforeseen events that would stretch my tolerance for stress further than I thought possible. It even went beyond that which I ever want to experience again. The five days of mom’s vacation loomed before me as a challenge, days that would test my ability to the limits. I still felt I could control my environment.
Next week I will outline the events of the days when super dad counted the hours until mom returned.
Harold H. LeCrone, Jr., Ph.D. Copyright 1985
In my opinion, this serves several purposes.
• Many fathers who do not spend much time with their children can have an opportunity for some real “intense” interaction. These fathers can, in a few days, “get to know their kids.”
This especially holds true for those dads who are tied up at work most of the time and who see their kids only an hour or so per day. In other words, they don’t every really experience the daily trials and tribulations that mom does.
• Many fathers can gain an appreciation of car pools, dirty laundry, lunch bags and meal preparation.
• Moms can get away and reflect a little bit on how they want to improve their lives and become better wives and mothers. Yes, the exchange makes mom appreciate the value of home and family, believe it or not.
Being an advocate of this position, I found that it was certainly a necessity for me to practice what I preached; therefore, for two or three times each year I have kept the kids for a short period of time while my wife is away.
My most recent experience, however, added some startling new information. It provided me with the belief that all fathers who follow my advice should have a backup support system available in the event that their “grip” on the situation becomes too loose.
The particular vacation days to which I refer began one fall weekend when my wife had returned to her hometown for a family visit and for her class reunion. Since I had been through the routine numerous times, I slipped into the role of “mom and dad” with ease. I mentally clicked off what experience had taught me.
• I knew it was necessary to get up a little earlier in order to cope with the double duty.
• I knew that all things had to proceed on schedule so that there would be no conflict of issues.
• I kept track of school activities, parent meetings, athletic events, birthday parties, car pools, doctor appointments, etc.
• I knew I would have no trouble falling asleep.
I thought I had the situation well in hand. Mindful that we usually associate stress in our own life with our profession and see home as a refuge and place of peace and happiness, I wasn’t prepared for unforeseen events that would stretch my tolerance for stress further than I thought possible. It even went beyond that which I ever want to experience again. The five days of mom’s vacation loomed before me as a challenge, days that would test my ability to the limits. I still felt I could control my environment.
Next week I will outline the events of the days when super dad counted the hours until mom returned.
Harold H. LeCrone, Jr., Ph.D. Copyright 1985