Dr LeCrone
05-21-2006, 09:02 PM
Some of the more common situations which may cause stress in a child’s life are:
• Over-commitment: Johnny comes home from school each day and finds a non-stop schedule planned for him. By bedtime, he is too exhausted to attempt his homework. After school he had soccer practice, a piano lesson and church choir practice.
When the weekend arrives, he had scout activities, a part-time job helping his father and he must visit relatives on Sunday. There is no time for Johnny to relax, read a book, do something creatively or just be with his neighborhood friends. Soon he becomes irritable and doesn’t sleep well, and his mother notices that clumps of hair have been pulled and are on his pillow.
These are strong signals that Johnny is over-committed. Parents need to monitor activities to provide sufficient stimulation but need to curtail activities which go beyond a reasonable and healthy limit.
• Pressure from parent or from the child for perfection: These two problems often go hand-in-hand as children begin compulsively to strive to please their parents. They become so preoccupied with success and the fear of displeasing their parents that they lose all perspective. Headaches, stomachaches and upset stomachs can be the result of a child’s attempts to make straight A’s all the time and believing that anything short of perfection is failure.
Parents can help children set reasonable and healthy goals and thus set the path for good mental health throughout life. There may be exceptions to all rules, and being a straight-A student, a star athlete, a concert pianist and even an Eagle Scout may be possible for some people, but such a combined goal is seldom worth the price. Constant overachieving and stretching beyond normal limits in every dimension of life is analogous to the athlete who over trains. Instead of building up muscles and skills, he tears them down through overuse.
• Family changes: Families who must make frequent moves causing changes in schools and living conditions should be aware of these stressors on their children. Military families and many industries provide help for these families.
Parents who have chronic marital problems which are accompanied by a great deal of verbal and even physical aggression are often sources of stress in children.
• Chronic illness in the family can cause the whole family to revolve around the health of the one sick member. Certain situations may not be prevented or dealt with in any fashion except to try to make the best of the situation. Sometimes just communicating with the child and explaining that the situation is difficult for everyone will be helpful.
• The media: The media can exert a great deal of negative stress on children. Television shows and movies with themes of violence or adult subject matter not appropriate for the child’s age can cause a great deal of confusion, fear, guilt and anxiety. The child may keep this information bottled up inside and may not even want to talk about it.
Remember that understanding and wanting to do something about childhood stress is certainly the goal of most concerned parents. Many sources of advice are available, and parents should not hesitate to seek help.
Harold H. LeCrone, Jr., Ph.D. Copyright 1985
• Over-commitment: Johnny comes home from school each day and finds a non-stop schedule planned for him. By bedtime, he is too exhausted to attempt his homework. After school he had soccer practice, a piano lesson and church choir practice.
When the weekend arrives, he had scout activities, a part-time job helping his father and he must visit relatives on Sunday. There is no time for Johnny to relax, read a book, do something creatively or just be with his neighborhood friends. Soon he becomes irritable and doesn’t sleep well, and his mother notices that clumps of hair have been pulled and are on his pillow.
These are strong signals that Johnny is over-committed. Parents need to monitor activities to provide sufficient stimulation but need to curtail activities which go beyond a reasonable and healthy limit.
• Pressure from parent or from the child for perfection: These two problems often go hand-in-hand as children begin compulsively to strive to please their parents. They become so preoccupied with success and the fear of displeasing their parents that they lose all perspective. Headaches, stomachaches and upset stomachs can be the result of a child’s attempts to make straight A’s all the time and believing that anything short of perfection is failure.
Parents can help children set reasonable and healthy goals and thus set the path for good mental health throughout life. There may be exceptions to all rules, and being a straight-A student, a star athlete, a concert pianist and even an Eagle Scout may be possible for some people, but such a combined goal is seldom worth the price. Constant overachieving and stretching beyond normal limits in every dimension of life is analogous to the athlete who over trains. Instead of building up muscles and skills, he tears them down through overuse.
• Family changes: Families who must make frequent moves causing changes in schools and living conditions should be aware of these stressors on their children. Military families and many industries provide help for these families.
Parents who have chronic marital problems which are accompanied by a great deal of verbal and even physical aggression are often sources of stress in children.
• Chronic illness in the family can cause the whole family to revolve around the health of the one sick member. Certain situations may not be prevented or dealt with in any fashion except to try to make the best of the situation. Sometimes just communicating with the child and explaining that the situation is difficult for everyone will be helpful.
• The media: The media can exert a great deal of negative stress on children. Television shows and movies with themes of violence or adult subject matter not appropriate for the child’s age can cause a great deal of confusion, fear, guilt and anxiety. The child may keep this information bottled up inside and may not even want to talk about it.
Remember that understanding and wanting to do something about childhood stress is certainly the goal of most concerned parents. Many sources of advice are available, and parents should not hesitate to seek help.
Harold H. LeCrone, Jr., Ph.D. Copyright 1985