Dr LeCrone
05-21-2006, 10:00 PM
Hard to live with women often learned their roles from faulty role models. Sue, who could be described as “not being happy unless she was unhappy,” had a mother who provided an inadequate and improper role model for Sue. The nagging and screaming Sue saw in growing up became the framework from which she operated as an adult.
The old saying, “They are a child off the old block,” has a lot of validity, but many of us as adults become so preoccupied with our own lives that we lose all objectivity when it comes to looking at the kind of image we present to our children.
Ann’s insecurity and extreme dependency as an adult was, to a large degree, produced by the atmosphere in which she was raised, another example of the need for proper nurturing and healthy child rearing practices in the home.
To provide healthy family roles:
• Parents should seek environments for their children outside the home that maximize the opportunity for personal growth in a healthy emotional climate. Many churches place a great deal of emphasis on programs for children and youths and provide an excellent resource for personal growth and development.
The whole family should be encouraged to participate in these activities. Children who are “dumped off” at church eventually will feel that if their parents don’t need this atmosphere, they don’t either.
• Parental involvement in school is of paramount importance in helping develop the proper atmosphere for the child’s healthy psychological development. With more and more mothers working outside the home, it is becoming increasingly difficult to find homeroom mothers, individuals willing to help transport children on field trips, etc. But somehow these excuses must be overcome so that parents do participate to some degree in the educational process of their children.
What could be wrong, for instance, with a father volunteering to take a carload of his child’s classmates to the museum or Six Flags for the day? Most of us have some vacation time and might even be surprised at how employers would accept an occasional absence for this kind of service to our children.
I have a friend who made cupcakes for his child’s school bake sale last year. He didn’t guarantee they would taste as good as those his wife might have made, but then nobody asked him to, and when you get right down to it, nobody actually cared. It was his willingness to participate that counted and his spirit de corps that was his most valuable contribution.
• Parents need to remember that their parenting skills are of utmost importance in providing an environment that fosters healthy emotional growth. Parenting classes are offered by churches, community agencies and continuing education classes at community colleges. Parents can enroll in after work or evening classes.
• For women like Ann, Jane and Sue, professional counseling should be considered as an alternative to divorce and to learn new ways of thinking to combat “prescriptions for self-defeat.”
Believing that human being shave the capacity for change is essential and is the first step toward developing new ways of thinking and behaving. Having suitable role models in the form of parents, teachers and other significant authority figures is the best way to give individuals the opportunity to form personality traits and characteristics that increase the likelihood that they will become good, happy, productive citizens and family members. If this is not successfully done as a child, then relearning effective ways of living and communicating should be pursued as an adult.
Harold H. LeCrone, Jr., Ph.D. Copyright 1985
The old saying, “They are a child off the old block,” has a lot of validity, but many of us as adults become so preoccupied with our own lives that we lose all objectivity when it comes to looking at the kind of image we present to our children.
Ann’s insecurity and extreme dependency as an adult was, to a large degree, produced by the atmosphere in which she was raised, another example of the need for proper nurturing and healthy child rearing practices in the home.
To provide healthy family roles:
• Parents should seek environments for their children outside the home that maximize the opportunity for personal growth in a healthy emotional climate. Many churches place a great deal of emphasis on programs for children and youths and provide an excellent resource for personal growth and development.
The whole family should be encouraged to participate in these activities. Children who are “dumped off” at church eventually will feel that if their parents don’t need this atmosphere, they don’t either.
• Parental involvement in school is of paramount importance in helping develop the proper atmosphere for the child’s healthy psychological development. With more and more mothers working outside the home, it is becoming increasingly difficult to find homeroom mothers, individuals willing to help transport children on field trips, etc. But somehow these excuses must be overcome so that parents do participate to some degree in the educational process of their children.
What could be wrong, for instance, with a father volunteering to take a carload of his child’s classmates to the museum or Six Flags for the day? Most of us have some vacation time and might even be surprised at how employers would accept an occasional absence for this kind of service to our children.
I have a friend who made cupcakes for his child’s school bake sale last year. He didn’t guarantee they would taste as good as those his wife might have made, but then nobody asked him to, and when you get right down to it, nobody actually cared. It was his willingness to participate that counted and his spirit de corps that was his most valuable contribution.
• Parents need to remember that their parenting skills are of utmost importance in providing an environment that fosters healthy emotional growth. Parenting classes are offered by churches, community agencies and continuing education classes at community colleges. Parents can enroll in after work or evening classes.
• For women like Ann, Jane and Sue, professional counseling should be considered as an alternative to divorce and to learn new ways of thinking to combat “prescriptions for self-defeat.”
Believing that human being shave the capacity for change is essential and is the first step toward developing new ways of thinking and behaving. Having suitable role models in the form of parents, teachers and other significant authority figures is the best way to give individuals the opportunity to form personality traits and characteristics that increase the likelihood that they will become good, happy, productive citizens and family members. If this is not successfully done as a child, then relearning effective ways of living and communicating should be pursued as an adult.
Harold H. LeCrone, Jr., Ph.D. Copyright 1985