Dr LeCrone
05-21-2006, 09:59 PM
Last week we talked about Jim and Mary and their son Johnny, a victim of stress. In wanting to combat stressful situations and help Johnny in his school work and leisure time activities, they studied their lifestyle and that of many of their friends.
Jim and Mary counted family units which had disintegrated, ending in divorce, because their goals for perfection interfered with life’s simple pleasures. They saw that striving to succeed and excel is a worthy goal, if not carried to extremes.
They realized that some family members may not be able to hold up to too much pressure. “Steam” in the family pot builds to an explosive point when there is no escape valve.
Enlisting the aid of other parents, a support group which viewed the matter objectively, they realized that parents see their children as the ideal of all their unfulfilled goals, hopes and dreams.
One of the greatest sources of Johnny’s stress was the pressure his parents had been applying to him over the past year and a half to excel in school. A’s and B’s weren’t good enough anymore and extravagant rewards were offered for straight A report cards.
Little League which should have been a time for relaxation, fun and good sportsmanship became so competitive it lost its appeal.
Johnny had little interest or talent in music. Still they dreamed of perfect piano recitals and demanded long hours of practice.
Johnny retreated into the world of make believe television because it gave him a chance to relax, to put aside his fears of not being able to meet their approval.
Fortunately, Jim and Mary came to grips with the matter before it was too late.
They began to monitor the number of structured activities for themselves and their son.
They set limits on the amount of time committed to competition.
They encouraged Johnny to invite friends over for play.
They set aside time each week for a family conference. Each family member was encouraged to communicate honestly and openly about feelings, about what was going on, about how much enjoyment was being obtained.
They tried to find a hobby of interest to all family members some new avenue of enjoyment which could be mutually shared.
They agreed that winning is wonderful, but losing isn’t the end of the world.
They learned to accept less than perfection in many areas of life, and learned that accepting this constitutes the ingredients of a healthy outlook on life.
Johnny, through the help of his parents, learned that stress is part of our lives. Accepting it and reacting to it makes all the differences.
Harold H. LeCrone, Jr., Ph.D. Copyright 1985
Jim and Mary counted family units which had disintegrated, ending in divorce, because their goals for perfection interfered with life’s simple pleasures. They saw that striving to succeed and excel is a worthy goal, if not carried to extremes.
They realized that some family members may not be able to hold up to too much pressure. “Steam” in the family pot builds to an explosive point when there is no escape valve.
Enlisting the aid of other parents, a support group which viewed the matter objectively, they realized that parents see their children as the ideal of all their unfulfilled goals, hopes and dreams.
One of the greatest sources of Johnny’s stress was the pressure his parents had been applying to him over the past year and a half to excel in school. A’s and B’s weren’t good enough anymore and extravagant rewards were offered for straight A report cards.
Little League which should have been a time for relaxation, fun and good sportsmanship became so competitive it lost its appeal.
Johnny had little interest or talent in music. Still they dreamed of perfect piano recitals and demanded long hours of practice.
Johnny retreated into the world of make believe television because it gave him a chance to relax, to put aside his fears of not being able to meet their approval.
Fortunately, Jim and Mary came to grips with the matter before it was too late.
They began to monitor the number of structured activities for themselves and their son.
They set limits on the amount of time committed to competition.
They encouraged Johnny to invite friends over for play.
They set aside time each week for a family conference. Each family member was encouraged to communicate honestly and openly about feelings, about what was going on, about how much enjoyment was being obtained.
They tried to find a hobby of interest to all family members some new avenue of enjoyment which could be mutually shared.
They agreed that winning is wonderful, but losing isn’t the end of the world.
They learned to accept less than perfection in many areas of life, and learned that accepting this constitutes the ingredients of a healthy outlook on life.
Johnny, through the help of his parents, learned that stress is part of our lives. Accepting it and reacting to it makes all the differences.
Harold H. LeCrone, Jr., Ph.D. Copyright 1985