Dr LeCrone
05-21-2006, 09:57 PM
Recently, while on vacation with my family, I encountered an interesting situation with my 5-year-old daughter.
We had been skiing for about an hour when she became fatigued and requested we take a break. We decided to walk over and sit down by a heated swimming pool surrounded by reclining chairs.
In the chair my daughter chose lay two necklaces. Her eyes widened and she squealed with glee as she picked up the new-found treasures, all the while exclaiming of their beauty. Although I am no authority on women’s jewelry, my cursory assessment of the two baubles was that they were left by an adolescent and were of little monetary value.
Nevertheless, my daughter was convinced that she had found the equivalent of the Crown Jewels of England. Her delight was not even eclipsed by the bright sun shining on the snow surrounding the pool.
I was amazed at how rapidly she was able to sling these two pieces around her neck, manipulate the clasps, and exclaim, “Oh Daddy, how lucky I am.” But as her eyes met mine I could see the question in her gaze as to what I was going to say about her heirship to this treasure trove.
I asked her if she had an opinion as to the rightful owners of the jewelry. “I am sure they have already checked out of the hotel and gone home,” she replied. I then encouraged her to consider the possibility that they might still be in the hotel. But her belief that they were gone was firm and positive.
I perceived this as an excellent opportunity to pursue such worldly and abstract concepts as ownership, possession of property, responsibility of finders, and, of course, the Golden Rule.
Interestingly enough, she had left a small satchel of books and crayons on the van which had transported us to the hotel several nights before. She discovered the next morning that that her prized possessions were missing. My faith in humanity was reinforced when the clerk at the front desk presented her with the satchel, explaining that the van’s driver had just brought them by.
I pointed out to her the similarity of the two situations, of her finding the jewelry, and someone finding her satchel and crayons. Was this not an example of “turn about is fair play,” I asked? What if someone decided, “finders keepers, loser weepers,” I asked.
Children learn so quickly by example and parents have numerous daily opportunities to instill values, such as moral conscience. I remember the struggle my 13-year-old son’s soccer coach had with a rule call last year. To a large part he was in the position to decide. A hush came over the team as 15 adolescent boys waited for him to make his decision, one which made an everlasting impression. This man used his fair judgment and set an example for young men to follow.
Sadly, I also saw a father boast to his son that he had beaten the clerk out of the “full bill” when the poor clerk had simply made an error in mathematical calculation. The lesson learned at that moment created a lasting impression of a different example.
As parents we cannot leave the development of moral conscience up to the church and its pastors, or to the school and its teachers. As parents, we have the primary responsibility for making value judgments and instilling a conscience. Examples parents set and beliefs they possess are the basis of the morality of the child.
There is a happy ending to my daughter’s story. About a month after our return home she received the necklaces along with a note from the hotel manager saying that no one had claimed them. Her delight in receiving them has even greater knowing that she had followed the Golden Rule.
Harold H. LeCrone, Jr., Ph.D. Copyright 1985
We had been skiing for about an hour when she became fatigued and requested we take a break. We decided to walk over and sit down by a heated swimming pool surrounded by reclining chairs.
In the chair my daughter chose lay two necklaces. Her eyes widened and she squealed with glee as she picked up the new-found treasures, all the while exclaiming of their beauty. Although I am no authority on women’s jewelry, my cursory assessment of the two baubles was that they were left by an adolescent and were of little monetary value.
Nevertheless, my daughter was convinced that she had found the equivalent of the Crown Jewels of England. Her delight was not even eclipsed by the bright sun shining on the snow surrounding the pool.
I was amazed at how rapidly she was able to sling these two pieces around her neck, manipulate the clasps, and exclaim, “Oh Daddy, how lucky I am.” But as her eyes met mine I could see the question in her gaze as to what I was going to say about her heirship to this treasure trove.
I asked her if she had an opinion as to the rightful owners of the jewelry. “I am sure they have already checked out of the hotel and gone home,” she replied. I then encouraged her to consider the possibility that they might still be in the hotel. But her belief that they were gone was firm and positive.
I perceived this as an excellent opportunity to pursue such worldly and abstract concepts as ownership, possession of property, responsibility of finders, and, of course, the Golden Rule.
Interestingly enough, she had left a small satchel of books and crayons on the van which had transported us to the hotel several nights before. She discovered the next morning that that her prized possessions were missing. My faith in humanity was reinforced when the clerk at the front desk presented her with the satchel, explaining that the van’s driver had just brought them by.
I pointed out to her the similarity of the two situations, of her finding the jewelry, and someone finding her satchel and crayons. Was this not an example of “turn about is fair play,” I asked? What if someone decided, “finders keepers, loser weepers,” I asked.
Children learn so quickly by example and parents have numerous daily opportunities to instill values, such as moral conscience. I remember the struggle my 13-year-old son’s soccer coach had with a rule call last year. To a large part he was in the position to decide. A hush came over the team as 15 adolescent boys waited for him to make his decision, one which made an everlasting impression. This man used his fair judgment and set an example for young men to follow.
Sadly, I also saw a father boast to his son that he had beaten the clerk out of the “full bill” when the poor clerk had simply made an error in mathematical calculation. The lesson learned at that moment created a lasting impression of a different example.
As parents we cannot leave the development of moral conscience up to the church and its pastors, or to the school and its teachers. As parents, we have the primary responsibility for making value judgments and instilling a conscience. Examples parents set and beliefs they possess are the basis of the morality of the child.
There is a happy ending to my daughter’s story. About a month after our return home she received the necklaces along with a note from the hotel manager saying that no one had claimed them. Her delight in receiving them has even greater knowing that she had followed the Golden Rule.
Harold H. LeCrone, Jr., Ph.D. Copyright 1985