Dr LeCrone
05-21-2006, 09:53 PM
Parents frequently ask me whether children should be encouraged to believe in Santa Claus. And they extend their questions to include belief in fairy tales, superstitions and myths.
The answer is, “Yes, but keep Santa Claus and all the other myths in proper perspective.”
How many of us as children heard the old saying, “If you step on a crack you will break your mother’s back?” Down the sidewalk we hopped, skipped and swayed, careful to avoid every crack. Fortunately, this was a belief which passed in a short time. Another transitory belief made the act of losing a tooth a little less painful, when the tooth fairy paid us a nocturnal visit.
Reading fairy tales to a child is an excellent way to teach rules and principles of living in a way they can understand and love to hear over and over again. The story of the “Three Little Pigs” gives a young child the opportunity to begin thinking about setting long-term goals, the value of exerting more effort at a given task, and the merits of building something with a stronger base for a better future.
When should parents explain the truth about Santa Claus the tooth fairy, or the Easter Bunny? For most children this issue takes care of itself as older siblings and playmates soon reveal where all those Christmas presents and the quarter under the pillow really came from.
When a child is ready to let go of a belief, he likely will ask. If he has reached the stage of psychological development where understanding occurs, the parent may sit down and try to explain about the true and historical meaning of Christmas or any other belief. If a parent needs information on this subject, the public library has many sources to pave the way for a good discussion at the proper psychological and intellectual developmental stage. Myths and fairy tales are common to mankind.
Aside from the tendency to hold on rather than to let go, some parents tend to overemphasize beliefs. When a child is made to believe that this behavior year-round is being observed by Santa Claus, he may become so obsessed with “pleasing Santa” that it becomes his total frame of reference in establishing a conscious and moral code. A child needs to learn to behave properly and to follow rules laid down by his parents, teachers, and other authority figures.
Parents may overemphasize the material gifts from Santa and the child will blot out all other associations of the Christmas season. Teaching a child that you give gifts because in giving you show love, will pave the way for acceptance of the real meaning of Christmas.
While Santa and the Tooth Fairy are loveable characters, other myths, rituals and superstitions may be used adversely and may even instill fear and guilt in a child. Teaching children that lying will cause them to lose their voice or grow a long nose is not a good way to get them to cease this undesirable behavior. On the other hand, telling a child that proper eating habits, including eating vegetables, at mealtime, will aid in good vision, and will make them strong and healthy is a desirable way to promote beliefs in good health habits.
Mental health professionals often see adults who are ruled by ritualistic beliefs. They may begin their day by reading their horoscope, are so fearful of Friday the 13th they cannot function, and go into a panic when a black cat crosses the stress in front of them. They have never let go of faulty beliefs.
Many good memories and experiences can be gained from exposure to fables, fairy tales and holiday rituals if things are kept in the proper perspective and handled properly by parents.
Harold H. LeCrone, Jr., Ph.D. Copyright 1984
The answer is, “Yes, but keep Santa Claus and all the other myths in proper perspective.”
How many of us as children heard the old saying, “If you step on a crack you will break your mother’s back?” Down the sidewalk we hopped, skipped and swayed, careful to avoid every crack. Fortunately, this was a belief which passed in a short time. Another transitory belief made the act of losing a tooth a little less painful, when the tooth fairy paid us a nocturnal visit.
Reading fairy tales to a child is an excellent way to teach rules and principles of living in a way they can understand and love to hear over and over again. The story of the “Three Little Pigs” gives a young child the opportunity to begin thinking about setting long-term goals, the value of exerting more effort at a given task, and the merits of building something with a stronger base for a better future.
When should parents explain the truth about Santa Claus the tooth fairy, or the Easter Bunny? For most children this issue takes care of itself as older siblings and playmates soon reveal where all those Christmas presents and the quarter under the pillow really came from.
When a child is ready to let go of a belief, he likely will ask. If he has reached the stage of psychological development where understanding occurs, the parent may sit down and try to explain about the true and historical meaning of Christmas or any other belief. If a parent needs information on this subject, the public library has many sources to pave the way for a good discussion at the proper psychological and intellectual developmental stage. Myths and fairy tales are common to mankind.
Aside from the tendency to hold on rather than to let go, some parents tend to overemphasize beliefs. When a child is made to believe that this behavior year-round is being observed by Santa Claus, he may become so obsessed with “pleasing Santa” that it becomes his total frame of reference in establishing a conscious and moral code. A child needs to learn to behave properly and to follow rules laid down by his parents, teachers, and other authority figures.
Parents may overemphasize the material gifts from Santa and the child will blot out all other associations of the Christmas season. Teaching a child that you give gifts because in giving you show love, will pave the way for acceptance of the real meaning of Christmas.
While Santa and the Tooth Fairy are loveable characters, other myths, rituals and superstitions may be used adversely and may even instill fear and guilt in a child. Teaching children that lying will cause them to lose their voice or grow a long nose is not a good way to get them to cease this undesirable behavior. On the other hand, telling a child that proper eating habits, including eating vegetables, at mealtime, will aid in good vision, and will make them strong and healthy is a desirable way to promote beliefs in good health habits.
Mental health professionals often see adults who are ruled by ritualistic beliefs. They may begin their day by reading their horoscope, are so fearful of Friday the 13th they cannot function, and go into a panic when a black cat crosses the stress in front of them. They have never let go of faulty beliefs.
Many good memories and experiences can be gained from exposure to fables, fairy tales and holiday rituals if things are kept in the proper perspective and handled properly by parents.
Harold H. LeCrone, Jr., Ph.D. Copyright 1984