Dr LeCrone
05-21-2006, 09:47 PM
The school secretary called again this morning. Roger has been tardy to school five times and the disciplinarian requests a conference with his parents.
Of course it makes you angry. You will have to take time off from your busy schedule to meet with the principal. And you recall that in the past your employer showed signs of disapproval when you received calls about this same school infraction.
What is a parent to do? You have told Roger he has to get up earlier. But he likes to sleep until the last minute and sometimes he is still in bed when you leave for work. Rather than start the day with an argument, you merely yell at him again to get up. If only he had more interest in school…
Roger and his parents are not the only families facing the problems of irregular attendance, truancy and tardiness. While educators stress the importance of attendance and punctuality, better communication between home and school is needed to change attitudes about this problem.
In Roger’s case, he always has been a late sleeper. But he could be encouraged to consider a few points on time management.
He could set the alarm a little earlier. Even 15 to 20 minutes can make a difference in his arrival time.
He could decide on clothes the night before.
He could collect all his books and other belongings and place them together before he retires.
If someone prepared something for him, he could be encouraged to begin the day with a good breakfast.
He could be taught to give his first walking thoughts to something pleasant, something anticipated in that particular day.
He could, with help from family and school, realize that punctuality is a good habit.
What if Roger’s actions are more difficult? He may refuse to get up when called several times. He may be belligerent when told he has to get up, or he may stubbornly delay his departure for school. If so, his parents need to examine his lifestyle and help him set new priorities.
Has his after-school job turned into more working hours than originally agreed upon?
Earning spending money is a good lesson in thrift and money management, but working long hours to make a car payment, buy gasoline and pay for insurance coverage is probably more than Roger can handle and maintain his grades and interest in school.
Sometimes when adolescents refuse to get up and get ready for school, they are really saying, “I can’t face this day.” They haven’t prepared their homework, haven’t done required reading, and haven’t studied for tests. Because they were in school seven hours yesterday, worked four hours last night, and watched Johnny Carson and the late show, they haven’t had adequate rest.
Schools need to teach the concept and students need to understand that school is their primary job. Parents need to strive for a balance of work and play that is necessary for good mental health.
Finally, if correcting the working hours and tutoring with the academic load are not sufficient, other help may be needed.
Refusal to rise and shine may indicate a medical or emotional problem. When adolescents encounter too much stress in the home or in school, they may become depressed. Not wanting to go to school and participate in activities with their friends is a symptom parents should not disregard.
The family doctor should be consulted. If no medical problem is found, he may suggest family counseling to lift the depression and work with the whole family on ways to shoulder and share responsibilities.
Even when severe extenuating circumstances are present, the therapist, together with the school social worker and school counselor, can help a student succeed in school.
Before Roger leaves the family home for adulthood and a successful venture in earning his livelihood, he must learn the good habits of regular attendance and punctuality.
Ask any employer.
Harold H. LeCrone, Jr., Ph.D. Copyright 1984
Of course it makes you angry. You will have to take time off from your busy schedule to meet with the principal. And you recall that in the past your employer showed signs of disapproval when you received calls about this same school infraction.
What is a parent to do? You have told Roger he has to get up earlier. But he likes to sleep until the last minute and sometimes he is still in bed when you leave for work. Rather than start the day with an argument, you merely yell at him again to get up. If only he had more interest in school…
Roger and his parents are not the only families facing the problems of irregular attendance, truancy and tardiness. While educators stress the importance of attendance and punctuality, better communication between home and school is needed to change attitudes about this problem.
In Roger’s case, he always has been a late sleeper. But he could be encouraged to consider a few points on time management.
He could set the alarm a little earlier. Even 15 to 20 minutes can make a difference in his arrival time.
He could decide on clothes the night before.
He could collect all his books and other belongings and place them together before he retires.
If someone prepared something for him, he could be encouraged to begin the day with a good breakfast.
He could be taught to give his first walking thoughts to something pleasant, something anticipated in that particular day.
He could, with help from family and school, realize that punctuality is a good habit.
What if Roger’s actions are more difficult? He may refuse to get up when called several times. He may be belligerent when told he has to get up, or he may stubbornly delay his departure for school. If so, his parents need to examine his lifestyle and help him set new priorities.
Has his after-school job turned into more working hours than originally agreed upon?
Earning spending money is a good lesson in thrift and money management, but working long hours to make a car payment, buy gasoline and pay for insurance coverage is probably more than Roger can handle and maintain his grades and interest in school.
Sometimes when adolescents refuse to get up and get ready for school, they are really saying, “I can’t face this day.” They haven’t prepared their homework, haven’t done required reading, and haven’t studied for tests. Because they were in school seven hours yesterday, worked four hours last night, and watched Johnny Carson and the late show, they haven’t had adequate rest.
Schools need to teach the concept and students need to understand that school is their primary job. Parents need to strive for a balance of work and play that is necessary for good mental health.
Finally, if correcting the working hours and tutoring with the academic load are not sufficient, other help may be needed.
Refusal to rise and shine may indicate a medical or emotional problem. When adolescents encounter too much stress in the home or in school, they may become depressed. Not wanting to go to school and participate in activities with their friends is a symptom parents should not disregard.
The family doctor should be consulted. If no medical problem is found, he may suggest family counseling to lift the depression and work with the whole family on ways to shoulder and share responsibilities.
Even when severe extenuating circumstances are present, the therapist, together with the school social worker and school counselor, can help a student succeed in school.
Before Roger leaves the family home for adulthood and a successful venture in earning his livelihood, he must learn the good habits of regular attendance and punctuality.
Ask any employer.
Harold H. LeCrone, Jr., Ph.D. Copyright 1984