Dr LeCrone
01-03-2006, 01:56 PM
At times it is necessary or desirable for both parents in the family to work. This has become increasingly common in families because of several factors.
The old idea that a woman’s place was only in the home has been modified. Great changes in the economy have made it either impossible or undesirable for many families to live on one income. Many women work outside the home for a sense of self-worth and self-esteem. They may find it desirable to be a full-time homemaker when the children are young, but enjoy the economic and psychological rewards of work outside the home when the children are older.
However, many family conflicts are the result of ineffective or inappropriate ordering of priorities by both the father and the mother. For either one, placing one’s job before one’s family will almost always result in some sort of problem within the family.
Individuals often get caught up in the pattern of long hours on the job. This produces material successes and positive regard by colleagues and peers, but the result is that the worker devotes the largest portion of life to a career. Children of the career-bound parent tend to grow up unnoticed, and sometimes even unwanted.
When beginning a new job, many men and women find it necessary to spend long hours at work. This can become a “habit,” often leading to the pattern of workaholism, so common in our society. While workaholics rationalize and justify their behavior, they frequently have little insight into the true nature of what they are doing, and often are not motivated to change.
When both parents decide they must or want to work, they must decide as a couple how to derive the benefits from working and managing their lives so that the family is brought up in a healthy emotionally satisfying environment. Some steps that can be taken to increase the likelihood of successful family rearing are as follows:
• Set aside regular and frequent times for the whole family to sit down and spend time talking about how each person’s need are being met, or are not being met. Then use this information to modify each family member’s responsibility.
• Try, if possible, to have one parent at home when the children come in from school. Children are full of news about their day and need someone to listen. This time, immediately after school, gives a parent the chance to hear about successes or failures, and take care of the inevitable cuts and scratches that occur. By helping with, or supervising, a time for homework, the parent can teach good study skills and habits. Having a relaxed setting after school and in the evenings also is important for healthy family development. Arranging working hours for a shorter work day or for a part-time position can often place one parent at home with the children.
• Establish definite responsibilities and share these responsibilities for duties. When possible, each family member should contribute to the family chores. Even a toddler can be responsible for emptying the waste basket or for picking up the toys.
• Set aside definite periods of time when the family can be together as a unit, such as on weekends, and learn to protect this time by resisting activities that interfere with this time. A picnic, some family recreational activities, and eating meals together can help promote family cohesiveness and security.
• Periodically examine the health of the family unit to see if pressures are building because both parents are working. Try to be objective. If signs of stress are occurring, consider seeking some professional help before things get too bad and disruptive.
Remember that setting priorities and frequently reviewing them can help keep things in perspective. Both parents working outside the home is not always a problem, but psychological health of the family should be monitored closely to watch for signs of stress.
Harold H. LeCrone, Jr., Ph.D. Copyright 1984
The old idea that a woman’s place was only in the home has been modified. Great changes in the economy have made it either impossible or undesirable for many families to live on one income. Many women work outside the home for a sense of self-worth and self-esteem. They may find it desirable to be a full-time homemaker when the children are young, but enjoy the economic and psychological rewards of work outside the home when the children are older.
However, many family conflicts are the result of ineffective or inappropriate ordering of priorities by both the father and the mother. For either one, placing one’s job before one’s family will almost always result in some sort of problem within the family.
Individuals often get caught up in the pattern of long hours on the job. This produces material successes and positive regard by colleagues and peers, but the result is that the worker devotes the largest portion of life to a career. Children of the career-bound parent tend to grow up unnoticed, and sometimes even unwanted.
When beginning a new job, many men and women find it necessary to spend long hours at work. This can become a “habit,” often leading to the pattern of workaholism, so common in our society. While workaholics rationalize and justify their behavior, they frequently have little insight into the true nature of what they are doing, and often are not motivated to change.
When both parents decide they must or want to work, they must decide as a couple how to derive the benefits from working and managing their lives so that the family is brought up in a healthy emotionally satisfying environment. Some steps that can be taken to increase the likelihood of successful family rearing are as follows:
• Set aside regular and frequent times for the whole family to sit down and spend time talking about how each person’s need are being met, or are not being met. Then use this information to modify each family member’s responsibility.
• Try, if possible, to have one parent at home when the children come in from school. Children are full of news about their day and need someone to listen. This time, immediately after school, gives a parent the chance to hear about successes or failures, and take care of the inevitable cuts and scratches that occur. By helping with, or supervising, a time for homework, the parent can teach good study skills and habits. Having a relaxed setting after school and in the evenings also is important for healthy family development. Arranging working hours for a shorter work day or for a part-time position can often place one parent at home with the children.
• Establish definite responsibilities and share these responsibilities for duties. When possible, each family member should contribute to the family chores. Even a toddler can be responsible for emptying the waste basket or for picking up the toys.
• Set aside definite periods of time when the family can be together as a unit, such as on weekends, and learn to protect this time by resisting activities that interfere with this time. A picnic, some family recreational activities, and eating meals together can help promote family cohesiveness and security.
• Periodically examine the health of the family unit to see if pressures are building because both parents are working. Try to be objective. If signs of stress are occurring, consider seeking some professional help before things get too bad and disruptive.
Remember that setting priorities and frequently reviewing them can help keep things in perspective. Both parents working outside the home is not always a problem, but psychological health of the family should be monitored closely to watch for signs of stress.
Harold H. LeCrone, Jr., Ph.D. Copyright 1984