Dr LeCrone
04-20-2006, 02:42 PM
Hardly an individual alive has not been embarrassed at some time or another. Embarrassment even creeps into our dreams, taking the form of unlikely or even absurd nocturnal fantasies.
Have you ever dreamed of walking into a room filled with people and realized you had no clothes on? Or dreamed you were sitting in a classroom where an examination was about to begin, and you realized you hadn’t been to that class for the whole semester?
These embarrassing and often anxiety-laden dreams, fortunately, do not happen to most individuals in their waking hours. However, many of us have experienced very awkward moments or been a witness to the plight of others in highly and often unforgettable moments of embarrassment.
I will never forget the time my wife was the guest of honor at her birthday party. After blowing out the candles on her cake, she was expected to make a few statements to the large group of people surrounding her. While the happy birthday song was being sung to her, she had glanced into a mirror and discovered to her dismay that a piece of spinach from the dinner salad had lodged between her teeth producing a rather prominent and easily discernible piece of foliage when she smiled.
She later told of how she had tried in vain to dislodge the spinach with her tongue and, when that failed, how she had tried puckering her mouth to vacuum the offender and finally how she had considered covering her mouth with her hand to extract it.
At the end of the song, however, she elected to smile with her mouth closed, nod and say nothing. She knew this was inappropriate, and it produced discomfort not only for her but for her guests. She still maintains this was one of the most embarrassing moments of her life.
On another occasion several years ago, I attended a social function in which the soloist and pianist accompanying her got out of sync and labored along through most of the special musical presentation producing a very unharmonious, unsynchronized repertoire that even a tone-deaf, hard-of-hearing individual with a lack of appreciation for music could not help but notice.
In looking over the audience I saw pained expressions of sympathy, eyes were diverted to the floor and individuals were staring intently at their fingernails. A few children appeared to be about to burst into loud laughter. We all shared the embarrassment of the two performers.
Finally, I remember a time when a clergyman friend of min was asked to deliver the eulogy at the funeral of an individual he had never met. A mix-up occurred, and my friend was given information relating to the deceased’s background that did not match that of the man to be buried.
After he had delivered a few sentences of his message, he realized from the puzzled looks on the faces of the bereaved that the information was incorrect. He tried to recount the statements as best he could when he spoke at the grave site. He considers this one of his most embarrassing moments.
These stories are true. You can probably think of similar or other stories that are equally or more embarrassing for you. Fortunately, most incidents of this kind occur only rarely. But, as anyone can testify, when they do, they are very stressful and leave us with extreme anxiety and a wish to replay that scene.
For some, replaying the scene and viewing the situation with humor helps. For others, thinking about avoiding situations of that kind in the future helps. Above all, the best way to remember embarrassment is that you are not alone. It does happen to the best of us.
Harold H. LeCrone, Jr., Ph.D. Copyright 1989
Have you ever dreamed of walking into a room filled with people and realized you had no clothes on? Or dreamed you were sitting in a classroom where an examination was about to begin, and you realized you hadn’t been to that class for the whole semester?
These embarrassing and often anxiety-laden dreams, fortunately, do not happen to most individuals in their waking hours. However, many of us have experienced very awkward moments or been a witness to the plight of others in highly and often unforgettable moments of embarrassment.
I will never forget the time my wife was the guest of honor at her birthday party. After blowing out the candles on her cake, she was expected to make a few statements to the large group of people surrounding her. While the happy birthday song was being sung to her, she had glanced into a mirror and discovered to her dismay that a piece of spinach from the dinner salad had lodged between her teeth producing a rather prominent and easily discernible piece of foliage when she smiled.
She later told of how she had tried in vain to dislodge the spinach with her tongue and, when that failed, how she had tried puckering her mouth to vacuum the offender and finally how she had considered covering her mouth with her hand to extract it.
At the end of the song, however, she elected to smile with her mouth closed, nod and say nothing. She knew this was inappropriate, and it produced discomfort not only for her but for her guests. She still maintains this was one of the most embarrassing moments of her life.
On another occasion several years ago, I attended a social function in which the soloist and pianist accompanying her got out of sync and labored along through most of the special musical presentation producing a very unharmonious, unsynchronized repertoire that even a tone-deaf, hard-of-hearing individual with a lack of appreciation for music could not help but notice.
In looking over the audience I saw pained expressions of sympathy, eyes were diverted to the floor and individuals were staring intently at their fingernails. A few children appeared to be about to burst into loud laughter. We all shared the embarrassment of the two performers.
Finally, I remember a time when a clergyman friend of min was asked to deliver the eulogy at the funeral of an individual he had never met. A mix-up occurred, and my friend was given information relating to the deceased’s background that did not match that of the man to be buried.
After he had delivered a few sentences of his message, he realized from the puzzled looks on the faces of the bereaved that the information was incorrect. He tried to recount the statements as best he could when he spoke at the grave site. He considers this one of his most embarrassing moments.
These stories are true. You can probably think of similar or other stories that are equally or more embarrassing for you. Fortunately, most incidents of this kind occur only rarely. But, as anyone can testify, when they do, they are very stressful and leave us with extreme anxiety and a wish to replay that scene.
For some, replaying the scene and viewing the situation with humor helps. For others, thinking about avoiding situations of that kind in the future helps. Above all, the best way to remember embarrassment is that you are not alone. It does happen to the best of us.
Harold H. LeCrone, Jr., Ph.D. Copyright 1989