Dr LeCrone
03-30-2006, 12:44 PM
Having positive self-regard and a healthy self-concept is one of the most valuable assets a person can possess. If you need to assess your own self-esteem, answering the following questions might help.
• Do you seek and attempt new challenges?
• Are you able to give yourself credit when it is due?
• Do you share in others’ happiness when they are successful?
• Do you place value on close relationships?
• Are you able to accept constructive criticism?
• Can you be open and honest about your emotions and feelings?
• Does your physical appearance please you?
• Can you laugh at your own mistakes and see them as learning experiences?
Yes answers to the questions above are correlated with positive self-esteem. Answers may vary from one day to the next depending on the situations encountered, but if you chronically answer no to most of the questions, you may have a self-esteem problem.
Poor self-esteem is frequently a carry-over from childhood, and the turbulent years of adolescence often magnify the poor self-esteem of a child to the point that many individuals go through their whole lives feeling bad about themselves. Being able to see our good qualities instead of chronically focusing on less than perfect aspects of our being is a tremendous asset.
To ask someone with low self-esteem to list his good qualities and characteristics often produces tension, confusion and indecision. Many find it almost impossible to accept feelings of success when they have accomplished something positive.
• Do you have trouble accepting a compliment?
• Do you stammer and try to negate success with statements like, “I really don’t deserve this,” or “I was just lucky this time.”
A statement such as “You sure look great today” from a friend or colleague often produces a response such as “Make-up hides a lot of things,” or “My dark sports coat makes me look thinner.” Responses of that kind don’t help the person with poor esteem, and they usually discourage the other from making future positive comments.
One negative event in a day of a low self-concept individual ruins the whole day. Ask a Charlie Brown how his day went. You will almost always get a “lousy, terrible or horrible.” The next morning starts with a belief that history will repeat itself. Sure enough, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
The possessor of a poor self-concept often passes these characteristics to his offspring. Neither is fun to live with, as they hardly ever enjoy life. Many an overweight individual loses weight only to gain it right back because they felt they didn’t deserve to be thin.
Next week I will discuss some of the things that can assist in the development of a healthy self-concept, one that is rewarding to us and contributes to the enjoyment of those around us. Remember that most of us suffer from a lack of self-esteem in one area or another. You can improve your self-esteem if you are willing to work at it.
Harold H. LeCrone, Jr., Ph.D. Copyright 1988
• Do you seek and attempt new challenges?
• Are you able to give yourself credit when it is due?
• Do you share in others’ happiness when they are successful?
• Do you place value on close relationships?
• Are you able to accept constructive criticism?
• Can you be open and honest about your emotions and feelings?
• Does your physical appearance please you?
• Can you laugh at your own mistakes and see them as learning experiences?
Yes answers to the questions above are correlated with positive self-esteem. Answers may vary from one day to the next depending on the situations encountered, but if you chronically answer no to most of the questions, you may have a self-esteem problem.
Poor self-esteem is frequently a carry-over from childhood, and the turbulent years of adolescence often magnify the poor self-esteem of a child to the point that many individuals go through their whole lives feeling bad about themselves. Being able to see our good qualities instead of chronically focusing on less than perfect aspects of our being is a tremendous asset.
To ask someone with low self-esteem to list his good qualities and characteristics often produces tension, confusion and indecision. Many find it almost impossible to accept feelings of success when they have accomplished something positive.
• Do you have trouble accepting a compliment?
• Do you stammer and try to negate success with statements like, “I really don’t deserve this,” or “I was just lucky this time.”
A statement such as “You sure look great today” from a friend or colleague often produces a response such as “Make-up hides a lot of things,” or “My dark sports coat makes me look thinner.” Responses of that kind don’t help the person with poor esteem, and they usually discourage the other from making future positive comments.
One negative event in a day of a low self-concept individual ruins the whole day. Ask a Charlie Brown how his day went. You will almost always get a “lousy, terrible or horrible.” The next morning starts with a belief that history will repeat itself. Sure enough, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
The possessor of a poor self-concept often passes these characteristics to his offspring. Neither is fun to live with, as they hardly ever enjoy life. Many an overweight individual loses weight only to gain it right back because they felt they didn’t deserve to be thin.
Next week I will discuss some of the things that can assist in the development of a healthy self-concept, one that is rewarding to us and contributes to the enjoyment of those around us. Remember that most of us suffer from a lack of self-esteem in one area or another. You can improve your self-esteem if you are willing to work at it.
Harold H. LeCrone, Jr., Ph.D. Copyright 1988