Dr LeCrone
03-30-2006, 09:22 AM
Budget cuts are common as a sluggish economy shows a deficit. Good employees are being laid off through no fault of their own.
Jack was with his company for 12 years and anticipated remaining there until retirement when his position hit the chopping block. Mary, his wife, sympathized with him and tried to make things easy for him. Being optimistic, she often reminded him that, “Sometimes things happen for the best.”
Time proved Mary wrong. Despite Jack’s solid attempts for many months to find a comparable position, he received rejection after rejection. He become restless and irritable, disinterested in meeting old friends. He didn’t want to get up in the mornings, and he had insomnia at night.
When he began to show disinterest in Mary and the children, she sought help and learned that Jack was suffering from depression. She also admitted she needed help living with a depressed person.
Mary learned that depression hits one of the 20 Americans. Jack’s was triggered by the loss of his position. For others, it may come from the death of a parent or spouse, the loss of an unexpected promotion, a divorce, a deep disappointment. Untreated depression can last for long periods of time, but treatment can reduce recovery time.
Signs to watch for include chronic fatigue, sleep difficulties including increased sleep, crying spells, decreased interest in sex, tension headaches, lack of enthusiasm and feelings of enjoyment, increased or decreased appetite, feeling unwanted, guilty or worthless, mood variations, feelings that life is not worth living.
If you are living with someone who is depressed, don’t try to cheer him up by saying, “It’s just temporary,” or, “You’ll snap out of this, just wait and see.” Don’t’ tell him to simply shape up or get hold of himself. A depressed person may be extremely sensitive to criticism. Be careful about giving him advice about what to do about the situation. This well-meaning gesture may make him feel even more incompetent.
• Keep him active. Don’t take over his duties and responsibilities at home. He needs to be useful, feel useful and keep a good self-concept.
• Be realistic about the situation. If it is really a bad one, then admit to it instead of trying to make light of it. Then your spouse will feel you understand him.
• Find someone you trust to express your feelings. If you are angry with your boss for terminating you, express that anger. You may need to bat a tennis ball, hit a racquet ball or pound a punching bag, but give the anger some positive outlet. Regular, vigorous physical activity often is a good way to dissipate frustration and anger.
• Plan each day. Block off time for constructive work, leisure time and solitude. Keep a log of activities. Don’t just stay in bed or sit in a chair all day.
• Do something with your hands. Build something, paint something, make something.
• Get professional help if the depression lasts for more than a few weeks. Consult a mental health practitioner, psychologist, psychiatrist or psychiatric social worker. Getting help early may prevent more serious problems from developing.
Harold H. LeCrone, Jr., Ph.D. Copyright 1987
Jack was with his company for 12 years and anticipated remaining there until retirement when his position hit the chopping block. Mary, his wife, sympathized with him and tried to make things easy for him. Being optimistic, she often reminded him that, “Sometimes things happen for the best.”
Time proved Mary wrong. Despite Jack’s solid attempts for many months to find a comparable position, he received rejection after rejection. He become restless and irritable, disinterested in meeting old friends. He didn’t want to get up in the mornings, and he had insomnia at night.
When he began to show disinterest in Mary and the children, she sought help and learned that Jack was suffering from depression. She also admitted she needed help living with a depressed person.
Mary learned that depression hits one of the 20 Americans. Jack’s was triggered by the loss of his position. For others, it may come from the death of a parent or spouse, the loss of an unexpected promotion, a divorce, a deep disappointment. Untreated depression can last for long periods of time, but treatment can reduce recovery time.
Signs to watch for include chronic fatigue, sleep difficulties including increased sleep, crying spells, decreased interest in sex, tension headaches, lack of enthusiasm and feelings of enjoyment, increased or decreased appetite, feeling unwanted, guilty or worthless, mood variations, feelings that life is not worth living.
If you are living with someone who is depressed, don’t try to cheer him up by saying, “It’s just temporary,” or, “You’ll snap out of this, just wait and see.” Don’t’ tell him to simply shape up or get hold of himself. A depressed person may be extremely sensitive to criticism. Be careful about giving him advice about what to do about the situation. This well-meaning gesture may make him feel even more incompetent.
• Keep him active. Don’t take over his duties and responsibilities at home. He needs to be useful, feel useful and keep a good self-concept.
• Be realistic about the situation. If it is really a bad one, then admit to it instead of trying to make light of it. Then your spouse will feel you understand him.
• Find someone you trust to express your feelings. If you are angry with your boss for terminating you, express that anger. You may need to bat a tennis ball, hit a racquet ball or pound a punching bag, but give the anger some positive outlet. Regular, vigorous physical activity often is a good way to dissipate frustration and anger.
• Plan each day. Block off time for constructive work, leisure time and solitude. Keep a log of activities. Don’t just stay in bed or sit in a chair all day.
• Do something with your hands. Build something, paint something, make something.
• Get professional help if the depression lasts for more than a few weeks. Consult a mental health practitioner, psychologist, psychiatrist or psychiatric social worker. Getting help early may prevent more serious problems from developing.
Harold H. LeCrone, Jr., Ph.D. Copyright 1987