Dr LeCrone
03-30-2006, 09:21 AM
Midlife cries, or “the middle-age crazies,” often are triggered by something as simple as overdoing it at an athletic event with the kids or working too vigorously in the yard over the weekend and waking up with a backache.
It may be sparked by a loss. Death, divorce, the children leaving home, the loss of a job or the disappointment of losing a much desired promotion at this point in life can have severe adverse effects. For many, lack of recognition on the job, burnout and the negative end results of job stress occur at midlife.
To get through this stressful period in life without making costly mistakes, there are some things one can easily do;
• Don’t be afraid to consider some changes in your life, but base the decision to change on many hours of thought and research. Changing jobs is not necessarily bad, but it should be done with careful consideration and for the right reasons. Deciding to be a stunt man or bodyguard is not going to turn back the years and restore youth. However, starting one’s own business in a given field where experience and the proper backing are provided can rejuvenate interest in life. Get some advice from your banker, accountant, lawyer or other financial advisers before making the decision. Enlist the strong support of your family. Listen to what friends have to say, especially if old career ties have to be severed.
• Quit making all of life’s decisions based on what one “should” or “ought” to be. Many people run into trouble because they have tried to please others all their lives and never based any decisions on what their own needs might be. Be careful not to interpret this as living life selfishly or developing a self-centered attitude. Accept who you are, instead of who you should be. Sit down and list all your positive attributes and achievements, being careful not to emphasize material things or overlook accomplishments that you were a part of, not necessarily that you did by yourself.
• Stop measuring success by money. If you have made and accumulated some money, consider spending some on yourself. Schedule a vacation or buy a set of good books, a stereo or some other item that would make life more pleasurable for you. Many individuals have been programmed to believe they must accumulate money to leave to their children. In many instances individuals who inherit money do not appreciate it as much as those who have had to earn it themselves.
• Set higher priorities on your spiritual life. Perhaps attending church is something you stopped because it was too much trouble to get the children ready on time, or perhaps because you thought many of them were hypocrites. Give yourself a chance to get in touch with some deeper values in life.
• Be aware that isolation is one of the greatest dangers during this time in one’s life. Don’t’ push away your friends or run away from your family in hopes of finding answers.
• Get professional help if needed.
• Remember that this period in one’s life can be a positive growth experience. Keep your cool, and don’t panic.
• Approach midlife in an educated and systematic manner.
Harold H. LeCrone, Jr., Ph.D. Copyright 1986
It may be sparked by a loss. Death, divorce, the children leaving home, the loss of a job or the disappointment of losing a much desired promotion at this point in life can have severe adverse effects. For many, lack of recognition on the job, burnout and the negative end results of job stress occur at midlife.
To get through this stressful period in life without making costly mistakes, there are some things one can easily do;
• Don’t be afraid to consider some changes in your life, but base the decision to change on many hours of thought and research. Changing jobs is not necessarily bad, but it should be done with careful consideration and for the right reasons. Deciding to be a stunt man or bodyguard is not going to turn back the years and restore youth. However, starting one’s own business in a given field where experience and the proper backing are provided can rejuvenate interest in life. Get some advice from your banker, accountant, lawyer or other financial advisers before making the decision. Enlist the strong support of your family. Listen to what friends have to say, especially if old career ties have to be severed.
• Quit making all of life’s decisions based on what one “should” or “ought” to be. Many people run into trouble because they have tried to please others all their lives and never based any decisions on what their own needs might be. Be careful not to interpret this as living life selfishly or developing a self-centered attitude. Accept who you are, instead of who you should be. Sit down and list all your positive attributes and achievements, being careful not to emphasize material things or overlook accomplishments that you were a part of, not necessarily that you did by yourself.
• Stop measuring success by money. If you have made and accumulated some money, consider spending some on yourself. Schedule a vacation or buy a set of good books, a stereo or some other item that would make life more pleasurable for you. Many individuals have been programmed to believe they must accumulate money to leave to their children. In many instances individuals who inherit money do not appreciate it as much as those who have had to earn it themselves.
• Set higher priorities on your spiritual life. Perhaps attending church is something you stopped because it was too much trouble to get the children ready on time, or perhaps because you thought many of them were hypocrites. Give yourself a chance to get in touch with some deeper values in life.
• Be aware that isolation is one of the greatest dangers during this time in one’s life. Don’t’ push away your friends or run away from your family in hopes of finding answers.
• Get professional help if needed.
• Remember that this period in one’s life can be a positive growth experience. Keep your cool, and don’t panic.
• Approach midlife in an educated and systematic manner.
Harold H. LeCrone, Jr., Ph.D. Copyright 1986