Dr LeCrone
03-24-2006, 03:00 PM
Last week we discussed some of the signals of the mid-life crisis. This predictable transition that most men go through usually occurs around age 40, but may be delayed in some men until their 50s.
Briefly reviewing some of the symptoms of the mid-life crisis, a man may suffer from chronic fatigue and lethargy, and seem to be more and more detached from friends, hobbies, and family. Many in his transition also experience excessive concern over health and may have problems in dealing with the sexual pattern changes that occur in most men during this age. They may experience problems in memory and concentration as well as find that their minds wander to faraway places. Many resort to an increased use of tobacco and alcohol.
Certainly, it is not uncommon for the man going through the mid-life transition to show an interest in women outside his marriage and even to act on these impulses. Although they may be very successful, they frequently begin to view their jobs as boring. They may entertain an interest in completely changing their profession which could be a disaster after many years of hard work building a professional career. Judgment and insight can be greatly impaired during this time.
Sometime termed “the male menopause,” like its counterpart in the female, it can be a very traumatic time of life, or in less difficult circumstances, even have it humorous moments.
Understanding and accepting that the mid-life crisis is inevitable and part of the life cycle is the first step in getting through a period that may last from several months to several years.
Following are other suggestions that may help in this transitional period:
• Try to find someone a few years older who has successfully made it through the transition years without causing too much disruption in his or his family’s life. Ask that individual to share with you some of his thoughts and feelings about this time in his life. Knowing that you aren’t the only one going through this transition is often helpful.
• Losing confidence in one’s self often accompanies other symptoms that may occur, such as insomnia, excessive concern over personal health, chronic fatigue, increased usage of tobacco and alcohol. Regular aerobic exercise can help alleviate these problems. Brisk walking, jogging, cycling, swimming or racquetball are types of aerobic exercise that research has shown can help restore confidence, increase stamina and fight chronic fatigue. A regular exercise program will control weight and combat the tendency toward substance abuse. Knowing that your body is in shape also will help reduce fears that your health is deteriorating.
• Try to postpone any major career changes during this period of life. A job that may seem boring and unrewarding may be viewed differently after this period passes. By the time most men have reached their 40s or 50 they have invested a lot in their careers and are probably much more successful than they realize. Getting a divorce during this time also can be a big mistake, as many men have said later, “I just wasn’t thinking too clearly then.”
• Having spiritual guidance during this time of life can be especially helpful. Being able to relate to a higher being and its teachings can help shore up a shaky foundation during this transition
If things get too rocky, consider seeking professional counseling. Find a mental health counselor who has had experience in dealing with this problem. Let the counselor evaluate the severity of your difficulty. Working with the counselor can help you get through this crisis time with less difficulty.
Harold H. LeCrone, Jr., Ph.D. Copyright 1984
Briefly reviewing some of the symptoms of the mid-life crisis, a man may suffer from chronic fatigue and lethargy, and seem to be more and more detached from friends, hobbies, and family. Many in his transition also experience excessive concern over health and may have problems in dealing with the sexual pattern changes that occur in most men during this age. They may experience problems in memory and concentration as well as find that their minds wander to faraway places. Many resort to an increased use of tobacco and alcohol.
Certainly, it is not uncommon for the man going through the mid-life transition to show an interest in women outside his marriage and even to act on these impulses. Although they may be very successful, they frequently begin to view their jobs as boring. They may entertain an interest in completely changing their profession which could be a disaster after many years of hard work building a professional career. Judgment and insight can be greatly impaired during this time.
Sometime termed “the male menopause,” like its counterpart in the female, it can be a very traumatic time of life, or in less difficult circumstances, even have it humorous moments.
Understanding and accepting that the mid-life crisis is inevitable and part of the life cycle is the first step in getting through a period that may last from several months to several years.
Following are other suggestions that may help in this transitional period:
• Try to find someone a few years older who has successfully made it through the transition years without causing too much disruption in his or his family’s life. Ask that individual to share with you some of his thoughts and feelings about this time in his life. Knowing that you aren’t the only one going through this transition is often helpful.
• Losing confidence in one’s self often accompanies other symptoms that may occur, such as insomnia, excessive concern over personal health, chronic fatigue, increased usage of tobacco and alcohol. Regular aerobic exercise can help alleviate these problems. Brisk walking, jogging, cycling, swimming or racquetball are types of aerobic exercise that research has shown can help restore confidence, increase stamina and fight chronic fatigue. A regular exercise program will control weight and combat the tendency toward substance abuse. Knowing that your body is in shape also will help reduce fears that your health is deteriorating.
• Try to postpone any major career changes during this period of life. A job that may seem boring and unrewarding may be viewed differently after this period passes. By the time most men have reached their 40s or 50 they have invested a lot in their careers and are probably much more successful than they realize. Getting a divorce during this time also can be a big mistake, as many men have said later, “I just wasn’t thinking too clearly then.”
• Having spiritual guidance during this time of life can be especially helpful. Being able to relate to a higher being and its teachings can help shore up a shaky foundation during this transition
If things get too rocky, consider seeking professional counseling. Find a mental health counselor who has had experience in dealing with this problem. Let the counselor evaluate the severity of your difficulty. Working with the counselor can help you get through this crisis time with less difficulty.
Harold H. LeCrone, Jr., Ph.D. Copyright 1984