Dr LeCrone
06-02-2006, 09:57 PM
Being disappointed about one’s success or achievement is often the result of a faulty perception. Maybe we can’t win the Masters golf tournament or write a best selling novel but there are other avenues we can pursue to experience a feeling of accomplishment.
We don’t give ourselves little pats on the back if we don’t reach the pinnacle of our dreams. And constant self-criticism and lack of enjoyment of daily tasks can erode self-esteem and lead to depression.
I often hear clients say, “But I didn’t even come close to what I wanted to do,” or “That was nothing, anybody could have done that.”
Often these perceptions are the result of a lifetime of telling one’s self or being told by our parents or others that what we did was less than what was expected of us. When you brought home a B or a C in a subject that had required extra preparation on your part and you were told “Well if you had tried a little harder you could have made an A.” Or, “I should have known that was the best I could do.”
Attainment of realistic goals may not present the greatest challenge, but that attainment improves self esteem and keeps our spirits afloat.
Here are some faulty perceptions to avoid.
• Trying for perfection. If I can’t be number one, I won’t be satisfied.
• Minimizing your talents. I’m not as capable as he is; I shouldn’t even try.
• Imagining the worst scenario. I would be ridiculed and embarrassed if I did poorly.
• Stressing the negative. Oh, I won’t be able to contribute much.
• Focusing on feelings. I feel like a loser.
• Preconceived ideas. I know I am stupid in many ways.
Setting realistic goals and changing the thoughts that go with them may promote a little more happiness.
Try saying:
• I’ll enjoy doing this even if I don’t reach the top.
• This could be rewarding.
• Who knows. Maybe I can do it.
• Even if I make a mistake, I’ll learn from it.
• In life’s games, there are some winners and some losers. I can expect some of both.
• I am a unique person. I have talents no one else can imitate.
Each time you have a negative thought, turn it around and change it into a positive thought. Enjoy the daily rush of emotions you will experience as your self-esteem rises and your tendency toward depression diminishes.
Harold H. LeCrone, Jr., Ph.D. Copyright 2002
We don’t give ourselves little pats on the back if we don’t reach the pinnacle of our dreams. And constant self-criticism and lack of enjoyment of daily tasks can erode self-esteem and lead to depression.
I often hear clients say, “But I didn’t even come close to what I wanted to do,” or “That was nothing, anybody could have done that.”
Often these perceptions are the result of a lifetime of telling one’s self or being told by our parents or others that what we did was less than what was expected of us. When you brought home a B or a C in a subject that had required extra preparation on your part and you were told “Well if you had tried a little harder you could have made an A.” Or, “I should have known that was the best I could do.”
Attainment of realistic goals may not present the greatest challenge, but that attainment improves self esteem and keeps our spirits afloat.
Here are some faulty perceptions to avoid.
• Trying for perfection. If I can’t be number one, I won’t be satisfied.
• Minimizing your talents. I’m not as capable as he is; I shouldn’t even try.
• Imagining the worst scenario. I would be ridiculed and embarrassed if I did poorly.
• Stressing the negative. Oh, I won’t be able to contribute much.
• Focusing on feelings. I feel like a loser.
• Preconceived ideas. I know I am stupid in many ways.
Setting realistic goals and changing the thoughts that go with them may promote a little more happiness.
Try saying:
• I’ll enjoy doing this even if I don’t reach the top.
• This could be rewarding.
• Who knows. Maybe I can do it.
• Even if I make a mistake, I’ll learn from it.
• In life’s games, there are some winners and some losers. I can expect some of both.
• I am a unique person. I have talents no one else can imitate.
Each time you have a negative thought, turn it around and change it into a positive thought. Enjoy the daily rush of emotions you will experience as your self-esteem rises and your tendency toward depression diminishes.
Harold H. LeCrone, Jr., Ph.D. Copyright 2002